We need time to heal & get over the trauma before we are ready to start a new relationship. Our spouses have begun a new relationship before they even ended the old one, let alone sorted out all the feelings from it. This is one reason so many affairs die & marriages from affairs have such a small percentage of succeeding.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

oops<p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited January 03, 2000).]

terri,<P>Follow your own heart. Only you know when it is time to quit and when it isn't.<P>I won't criticize anyone for quiting "too early" or waiting "too long".<P>Genie, I know you care about terri...we all do. But, things of this nature are very personal decisions. I think you just "feel" in your heart what it is you should be doing, and that is what a person should do!<P>Roll Me Away<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

If you think about it from the view of the OW here, she now thinks she is the spouse and Terri is the OW. She is not right to think that way but I bet that is how she feels. So she is just responding like a W who didn't know how to DB would respond to an OW. It maybe does not mean she is insecure but just annoyed. What really counts is Terri's H's actions and words. If I were you Terri, I would not figure that she is insecure but I would also not take anything she says that H says about you as being the truth. You should only believe what you hear him say. But maybe you should ask him exactly as she said you should and see what he says. <P>Del

Wow! Thanks for all the responses! I don't have much time at the moment but I just have to say thank you ...<P>Two things I will have to say before I go:<P>1)<B>rs0522</B> - Sorry, but I will NOT apologize to that husband-thieving piece of trash for any reason (oops ... there I go again ... darn that resolution!). Read some of my past posts if you want to find out what she's done to me.<P>2)<B>Genie</B> I appreciate your concern, really, I do. However, as Lor points out, you never did have a real good handle on the Harley principles - a good post for you to read about Plan A would be NSR's post Plan A 101 and his posts about his sessions with Steve Harley ... where Steve advocates staying in Plan A for as long as humanly possible. And, you might want to review some of my posts from this past summer about all the time my husband and I spent together then.<P><BR>I'll respond more later - but again, THANKS to all!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

terri-<P>I sure admire your fortitude. You go girl!! Not many people to go this long and still have hope.<P>I hope you are keeping all the slug-mail. You never know when you might need it .<P>BTW, if things are all so wonderful there, why hasn't your H filed for divorce? Long long does it take, for crying out loud? <P>Miss slug is delusional. Keep doing what your doing! I pull strength from you!<P>God Bless,<P>Cheryl