Just two questions for those who have had to implement plan B. Who left the house and why?<P>I was betrayed. I have two boys living home ages 15 and 19. I make 2/3 more than my wife and pay all the bills. She's the one that seems to feel that there are too many distractions at home to be able to decide what to do. I feel like, why should I move out when I've done nothing wrong, per se.<P>I want to be fair and limit LB's but sometimes being fair isn't the answer. Opinions?<P>

Tom, <BR>According to <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A> by Dr. Willard Harley the wayward should be the one to move out.<P>I didn't choose this option for two reasons,1 I love my new house, 2 I wanted her to have to look at our memories.<P>I am in plan-a.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

I too am in Plan A...<P>But my W (the wayward) chose to leave!<P>Jim

The Harley Plan calls for Plan A for at least 6 months--whether you are separated or not. Plan B, with no contact, is for when you absolutely can't take it anymore and are losing love for your spouse every time you see them. I've been through something like 9 nonconsecutive months separated and done Plan A.<P>Plan A builds up the good memories with you and your spouse so that when/if you cut yourself off with Plan B, one of the effects is they might miss you more, but Plan B is really for the benefit of the betrayed and also allows your feeling for your spouse not to always be so painful. Plan B without Plan A has little benenfit for the marriage, according to what I've read.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>