Hi, I've been lurking , my keyboard is still screwy . Well H & 19yr oldbimbete are done with 2 yr affair (H was dumped for yr. guy all of 30 te he )is OVER ! He's here with me &son . 2,000miles away from HER ! But now there is no intimacy, no I'm sorry, no nnothing! He did finaly tell the truthabout the "friend shhip" But now he has internet buddies all FEMALE! This STTTTTINKS 'm trying SO hard to deposit in Llove bank , but I'm not getting any returns . He's being PAMPERED ! How long does i t take for withdrawl fromOW to kick in? Anyone help with this? Or maybe he just dosn't want me !

katana--<P>Please read JoeT's post, "Recovering from online affair." It may give you some insight? It would be great if you could get your H to read it too.<P>Sounds like your H is in withdrawal. Keep trying to reach him w/out lovebusting. I know, it's hard. <P>Let us know how you're doing. And remember, sometimes it's not what you need to express, it's HOW you express it. Good luck.<P>Laura

Katana,<P>My opinion only.....Stop his use of teh computer. Its just another outlet for him to cheat and avoid the real issues. I'm a woman who knows the evils of the internet and the goodness of it. But if a H can't be trusted then limits need to be set. He must be willing to show you your the one he wants NOT a fantasy on a computer screen.<BR>Confusedwife

The first thing you HAVE to do with you husband is to TALK with him and honestly tell him how you feel. It's important that you tell him that you are hurt. Do not put him on the defensive, just tell him how YOU feel. You have to open up the lines of communication before you proceed any further. You have to be able to talk with him about anything and everything, make him feel like he can do the same with you. Get him to open up, and try not be judgemental, just try to be understanding. More than likely, he was not meeting all your needs, so you in turn where not meeting his. That is when it becomes so easy to find someone else who will, whether its on the internet, in person, or with someone that is in your circle of friends.<BR>Computers are becoming a fact of life, I work with them all day long, so unless I went into another line of work, it would be impossible for me to not be around them.<BR>My wife and I are trying to meet each others needs, having read Dr. Harley's book, and I can honestly say, my wife has been great and has filled any void left from not communicating with my online friends anymore.<BR>Ask your husband what his needs are and try to fill them. Tell him what your needs are and hopefully he can fill them for you. But until you have a serious talk and willing partners, there is no way things can improve..