My H called tonight to talk to our son. When they were done he asked to speak to me (I was so happy, he has not wanted to talk to me). He asked how things were going at the house. I asked him if he was getting settled into his new place. I then told him that his mother called me today and said that she called to tell me hello and that if things did not work out she hoped we could still be friends. I told him that I told her that would be nice. My H then says if we can be friends I don't see why you two can't. What does that mean? Has he given up on us? Has he made his decision to go with OW? I was so happy to talk to him, but that comment hurt so bad. Somebody please translate for me. <P>------------------<BR>

Relax Viki - Take a breath.....<P>All it probably means is that since the two of you are not fighting right now why should you be fighting with his mother. It's the perspective for the MOMENT!!!!!<P>This is going to be a long drawn out hell for you if you try to read too much into everything - so, try to approach this calmly and without speculation right from this point in the beginning of the separation.<P>Give him time to sort his thoughts out and in the meantime concentrate on you and your son. Use this time for self evaluation and make any improvements for yourself and your homelife that you feel are needed to make life happier.<P>H will see it and respond to it!!!!<P>Any contact you have with him - do your best to make a deposit in his love bank!! That is where your concentration should be. <P>Believe me - I was the queen of speculation and it does nothing but weaken oneself. You have no idea what his exact thoughts are!!! Heck, he probably doesn't know what his thoughts are. Don't disect his words - just show him your heart!!<P>Hope this helps,<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

VIKI! I just read your signature saying on another post about the comparison of men and wine. You really make me laugh! Sorry guys, I know you're not all that way and some of us women are that way. It was just TOO funny.<P>With your H, I agree with Sheba. I think you are reading too much into it, which is really easy for us women to do. I do it too. Either read too much into what he said or too much into what he didn't say. I really believe he just meant that he is able to be friends with you through all of this. He wanted to talk to you and that's a good sign.<P>Thanks for the laugh. I'll have to tell my H that one! LOL<P>------------------<BR>Shoni<P><BR>

Viki, the mistake you are making is that you think you are speaking to someone rational. He may look and act that way but he is as close to being completly irrational as he has ever been. <BR>Sheeba and Shoni are right as always.<P>People in his situation tend to throw out trial balloons to see how you react. <P>Taken to its' logical conclusion; if he stays with the OW, marries her, then how are you and your MIL supposed to be friends? Not so easy.