Dear Jim,<BR>Thanks once again..<BR>I thought plan A meant one side(The betrayed)has to do all the work to save the marriage in a selfless way, as the betrayer is too caught up in his own web of fantasies to be expected to be concerned with the needs of the other party.<BR>While my H knows his behaviour is unacceptable,he is nevertheless unwilling to let her go.I fear pushing him into leaving her would only push him away from me...<BR>He has told me He has to get it out of his system..You mentioned that an attorney might shake him back to realty.Well, I have never threatened to leave him,or asked him to choose between the two of us.He has told me <BR>that the options are either bear with him while he goes through this or divorce..<BR>When he returned from his last trip,I was so distraught and I let him know my feelings ,he told me Divorce is the only civil solution.At this stage he is saying that divorce would be easier for him to do than leave the other woman...