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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 256
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 256 |
hey all I have a ?<P>what if I do a complete 180 and not get upset to my husband and say it is ok for her to come around the boys? Do you think it will help? <P>It would KILL me but I have shown I am strong.....what do you think....<P>I would still go ahead with the divorce proceedings but they could always be stopped......<P>------------------<BR>I will love my husband "Always & Forever" <BR>thevancefamily@hotmail.com<P><BR>
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 264
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 264 |
Hi Amanda,<P>Me I would'nt<P>You should not have to compromise on your decision, stick with it.<P>That would be going in reverse<P>Stay strong,<P>Jason<P>P.S. I'll get the soap for our mouths...lol ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) shame on us<BR>
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2,347
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2,347 |
I wouldn't when it comes to my daughter.<P>I <B>will</B> not tolerate her being subjected to drug dealing alcoholics period.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,189
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,189 |
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 38
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 38 |
Don't compromise your position. Don't make it easier for them to bond as a "family". Stand your ground. Sometimes that is all you have to hang on to. If you give on this, What will be next?
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 924
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 924 |
I won't tell you you shouldn't. But there is no way I could. This would really hurt the girls. My girls dread the day they must meet her. They have visions of spilling grape juice on her and telling her that their mother is a lot prettier. I tell them...don't you dare....but inside it makes me feel kind of nice to know that the girls love me so much and are disgusted in their dads behavior. But it is their dad and they need to respect him even though he has made some bad decisions. That is so hard for me to say, but I have to so that the girls don't feel so pulled apart. I don't want them to choose sides. I know they already have...but sometimes I feel sorry for H.....he is really losing the true love that one gets from a wonderful wife and two of the most beautiful and caring daughters a man could have.<BR>Nancy
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040 |
My advice is don't. My H introduced them to her without my knowledge, then took them over to her house when he was supposed to with them here while I was away for the weekend. The legal advice I received said that I wouldn't win if I fought it, so I didn't. I wish I had, now. It is confusing for the kids, it makes it easier for him to pretend that what he is doing is normal - there is no upside, it resulted in her complaining about one of the kids to my H and therefore his insisting that she be evaluated, - there is no upside. And the nicer I am to him, the crueler he is to me, so the impact of that decision was completely negative. If I had to do it over again, I would fight tooth and nail to keep them away from her.
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 2,580
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 2,580 |
Avance,<BR>I agree with Mental, while I don't want my kids around om there is no way I can stop them in my state. She could be living with a football team and the courts don't care unless there is abuse or drugs.<P>I've talked to a few counselors and they said that unless my stbx was not being discreet then major emotional damage would not occur. The best hope is that the kids will see what a stable life we live as opposed to someone living a unstable one like those in an affair.<P>My kids are starting to bulk already about going to their mothers as they are away from their friends. Any way trying to keep om away from my kids was driving me crazy and made of stbx all the more determined to force him on them.<P>For those hoping to save their marriages I would assume that this would be a major lovebuster.<P>Bob<BR>
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