<BR>I took my two oldest sons to a counselor today. It was at a family crisis center and was free. (I really don't have the funds for a private counselor). Turns out I know the woman, which isn't bad because she's really nice. But she doesn't think they have a problem. My 10 yr old tells me all the time that he hates the world and wants to die, my 7 yr old is acting out aggressively towards the 2 yr old. He always finds ways to hurt him. She did give me some names of other counselors who charge according to your income so I'm going to call one tomorrow. <BR>The boys are also hitting each other all the time. Not just typical brother stuff either. And always disobeying me and yelling at me. (It's hard to punish a 10 yr old who is as big as you are). They need their dad and he just doesn't get it. I need him to be here to help with them.

Hang in there. It took my kids like 3 months before their life returned to normal. what helped a lot here was I was letting them get away with too much, trying not to rock the boat since they were hurting because H was gone. What they really needed was rules and structure. My son finally told me, Mom quit being so cute with me act like a Mom. I was trying to be pals when he really wanted a Mom. I had to file for the big D today and hate to tell my kids because things have settled down so much for them. My kids grades where down, they were quiet and withdrawn. But they are now doing a lot better. Hope this helps!

After I got my girls back in July....they really changed. They were so withdrawn when I got them back. It's like they forgot what playing and being a kid was all about. But a few months ago their grades started going down and I started them in deep counseling. I also took them to a few al-non meetings and they even attend domestic violence classes. It took about 2 months and now I see a big difference in them. But it has also made them pretty bold. Not to me...but to their father. They think nothing of telling their father like it is. Which at times makes him so mad that he files stuff on me in court. Now according to him...the counselor is on my side and just is seeing us for the insurance money (we don't pay) and that he is going to sue her because she is filling the girls heads with bull. Unless it is going his way...we are battered verbally or physically, He never was this way before...I think he is going bonkers...to much alcohol...too much anger<BR>Nancy

Believe me, I know all about abuse! My husband never touched the boys, only to spank them. But I was the one he took his anger out on. The violence started when we had only been married 2 months and I was 8 months pregnant. It was sporadic though, never on a regular basis. Not too many people know about it either. Sometimes I wonder why I want him home. But I know the good side of him and it really outwieghs the bad. He can be the most loving and romantic man in the face of the earth. I guess I'm just waiting for him to sober up. Am I dreaming??? My MIL said I should be relieved that he's gone (I just recently told her about all of the abuse.) But it's hard. He is the only man I've ever loved. But he's also an alcoholic and needs alot of help.

Hi, I wish your situation is better. I just have one question. Does your employer pay for couseling? When my H and I started counseling we didn't know where we would get the extra $75 or more a month. Most companys offer a plan for counseling. Ours does and if we wouldn't have asked we wouldn't have known. I sure has helped us.<BR>check it out becuase I know it is expensive.<P>Good luck<BR>You and your children are in my prayers<BR>Christine

I'm not employed but I am going to check on my husbands insurance. This was a spur of the minute thing. Almost an emergency. Thanks for the prayers!