Finally received divorce(disillusionment) from w attorney today and it was nothing like the proposal he floated 2 months ago. She wants basically 50% of everything monetary and joint parenting of the children. A friend of mine said since she would pay me child support and I can keep the house its a good deal except for a few negotiable item(she claims the kids for tax purposes and I pay for her filing the papers).I'm looking for some type of financial support for the kids college. Also her finacial data she used looks to be 2 yrs old.<BR>W is already divorced in her mind. Today at my daughters school orientation she introduced me as our daughters father, not as her husband. She also let me know that the kids are beneficiaries on her new life ins policy and me and om were contingicies. I didn't bother to tell her I was eliminating her from my policy.

RWD -<P>I don't know what to say.....<P>I'm sorry things are going this way for you and I'm sorry for your pain and the way she has treated you.<P>You will be fine and so will the kids. You have each other and that is the strength and stability that will help you all through this.<P>Make sure you've got a good lawyer - believe me I'm finding that out!!!<P>You're in my prayers and here's a BIG HUG for you!!<P>Sheba

Thanks Sheba!<BR>I am doing pretty good. My old sleep habits are returning( I need a crane to get me out of bed in the morning) although my eating is off but thats due to my son's schedule. He has football practice everyday from 5:30 to 7:30 pm and can't eat a heavy meal before and I can't figure out how to prepare a meal at 3:00 and still get any work done ! So we do a lot of canned meals and fastfood both of which I try to avoid.<BR>The kids seem to be doing pretty well, beacuse they are both so busy. I did find a distressing letter to my daughter wrote to herself laying behind her bed(I changed the bed linen !) She said she hated her life because her parents were divorcing, she was no longer good at sports and her boyfriend(?)dumped her and she hated being "single." I think she wrote it back in July and I'm not sure how big of a deal to make of it, I did contact her counselor but haven't heard back, although my w gave me H### for interferring with the counseling. As for the boyfriend I don't believe they ever talked on the phone and I know they never went out,I guess it was one of those 11-12 yo going on 16 yo crushes.

Hi RWD -<P>With the meal issue - try adding tuna sandwiches, BLT's, Salads, frozen chicken fingers and fish sticks, etc.<BR>They shouldn' be too heavy and they're quick!! Pretty soon you can add soup to the mix as well. <P>Your Daughter - I wouldn't worry too much. Like you said a 11-12 yr old trying to be 16!! Just keep a little extra eye on her and know exactly where she is - let her Mom handle some of this with her if she didn't like the counselor contact. This will give your wife some family responsibility and your daughter needs some guidance from her at her age. Just keep your eyes on the whole thing.<P>You'll all be fine.<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba<BR>

RWD, Well my sympathies also for the very bad divorce thing. I am curious how long your wife has been moved out and how long did It take her to decide to divorce? Any idea if she has ever come out of the fog of the OM relationship? My wife moved out 10 days ago to continue her affair without inconveniences. I am not sure what to expect other than time will tell and most likely that affair will self-destruct.

RWD,<P>My question, are you happy with their proposal, if not get your own attorney, you should have one anyway, and you take the tax write off...you are the one supporting the kids...they are with you...you need the tax benefits. That is one thing I would fight for. You also need total access to the counselor for the kids...no problems with wife interferring with your access to full disclosure of medical treatment for the kids and their medical providers. If there is a Father's for Equal Rights organization in town contact them. Stand up for yourself man!!! You need to...don't let her run you into the ground!!<P>I believe in you and you can make it!!<P>Take care friend!<BR>Ramy