Two months into our marriage my husband tells me that he wants an annulment. On the actually day of our 2 month anniversary he goes out with the guys to a game and then picks up this girl he met on the internet a week prior for a date after the game and goes to a bar with his buddies with her. <P>I find out about it just before it happens and confide in a friend. My friend trying to be helpful emails this girl and tells her that he's married and to back off. She doesn't and they have their date. I'm not sure what really went on that night (what they actually did on their date) and I'm not sure how far it went. She said one thing and he said another. All I know is that he told me to move out by that night. <P>She told him that he received an email from someone and he recognized the name. He called me up the following day at my old roommates place and yelled at me for getting in the way and that email could prevent him from losing her. <P>I had decided to leave that relationship after that phone call but two days afterwards, he begged for me back. I agreed. To this day (almost one year) I am still hesitant to see him go out with his friends or for him to actively participate in chat groups (funny how I'm doing it right now though). Since that time, I've had extreme feelings of jealousy, resentment, and depression. I love him but I constantly find myself questioning his every movement and over-analyze things he tells me.

Welcome <B>lilmystere</B> to the Marriage Builders - Infidelity Forum.<P>Just a clarification...<BR>You've been married 14 months... is that right?<P>Any marriage is worth saving...<BR>However if there is a severe character defect... one that forces you away from your spouse or has the potential... some counseling is in order... First for you by yourself and then for both of you! (possibly for him by himself too!)<P>The people here represent both betrayed spouses and betrayers(waywards) alike and the occasional Other Woman/Man/Person (OW/OM/OP).<BR><B>All</B> of us are really here to try and build or rebuild our marriages... and we are trying to use principles and concepts that are espoused by Dr. Willard Harley of Marriage Builders(MB).<P>Most of the couples here are typically %+ years into theie marriages... but there are some newlyweds top!<P>There is a wealth of information here at this site, starting from the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/" TARGET=_blank>Marriage Builder's Home Page</A>.<P>If you're new to the ideas being presented here at MB start off with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3000_intro.html" TARGET=_blank>Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts</A>.<P>Many of us need to start immediately working on our marriages and a <B>sound</B> understanding of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A and Plan B</A> is crucial! To save your marriage start off on an immediate <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>!<P>You'll see a barrage of "terms" which you might guess the meaning of... but an alternative is to look up what they mean at this site... Words like (click on them to find out):<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Bank</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_give.html" TARGET=_blank>Giver and Taker</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>The Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A>.<P>You'll need to learn more about, not just marriage building... but self building too! The learning isn't going to happen overnight though... look at the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8100_article.html" TARGET=_blank>Articles</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html" TARGET=_blank>Infidelity Q&A</A>.<BR>The real learning is best aided by obtaining some of the books from the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6000_bookstore.html" TARGET=_blank>MB Bookstore</A>... of most important for those who have affairs in progress, or soon to be, is <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"</A> by Dr. Willard Harley. <B>This is the 'bible' for this forum.</B><BR>Other books can be very useful as well... like <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>"His Needs, Her Needs"</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6030_love.html" TARGET=_blank>"Love Busters"</A>.<BR>There will be many other good books that the MB people will recommend... take their advice... they've been around.<P>Most of all... you will find <B>compassion</B> and <B>love</B> here. No judging... no demeaning... no malice here!<BR>The people here have all had their lives thrown into a whirlwind of despair, confusion, and sadness.<BR>We've all experience gut wrenching emotions that we though could never exist, in anyone's idea of humanity.<BR>Feelings of hatred, love, disillusionment, envy, rejection, emptiness, <B>deep depression</B>, and on and on...<P>Just the books and facts aren't going to get you through it all... not without <B>support</B>. That's where <B>we</B> come in! <B>We</B> care... because <B>we</B> know how it feels. Believe it... <B>You are <I>not</I> alone</B>! <BR>Come to this forum to vent... to cry... to laugh (a little)... to express your feelings... to advise others... or just to get away!<BR>You're probably going through H*!! right now... don't go it alone... remember... <B>you are <I>not</I> alone</B>! <P>There is never any guarantee to save all marriages... life doesn't work that way, unfortunately.<BR>We can, and do guarantee, to give you help... to build back many vital aspects of your life and sanity. <P>Post... Post... Post... Reply... Reply... Reply... READ! READ! READ!<P>I've been speaking in behalf of some dear friends... as well as some complete strangers too..., when I've used <B>"we"</B>!<BR>But... if you're here... join in with them... they <B>will</B> join in with you. <B>We</B> do not always agree with each other on how to handle situations... but each of us is offering to you advice base on individual experiences. Search out those people on the forum that have experiences similar to yours... and ask... ask... ask! <P>Some general questions...<BR>(Things you may want to put into your profile in the "My Story" section...)<BR>Is your H still seeing this woman?<BR>Any other woman?<BR>Have you discussed counseling with H?<BR>Does he think he has a problem?<BR>Any children?<P>When you do post... try to indicate a "target audience"... "betrayeds", "waywards"... etc.<BR>and a more specific topic... "recovery"... "Plan A/B"...<P>BTW: Weekends (Saturdays and Sundays) are slow here... don't be discouraged if there aren't a lot of replies then...<P>Glad you joined us... <BR>We really are here to help! <P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered...

As of yesterday, I've been married for 13 months. We talked about going to counseling but we have no medical benefits and no money. I was going to sacrifice some of the bills that need to be paid in order to find a private psychologist. But the problem is that he is not actively looking with me to find help. He told me that I need to take the initiative to find a counselor.

As of yesterday, I've been married for 13 months. We talked about going to counseling but we have no medical benefits and no money. I was going to sacrifice some of the bills that need to be paid in order to find a private psychologist. But the problem is that he is not actively looking with me to find help. He told me that I need to take the initiative to find a counselor.

I'm not sure I have any good advice for you , but I wanted to let you know we are here and we hear you.<P>Looks like you both made some mistakes and I'm wondering...has he given you any signs that he is still continuing these actions?<P>Wishing you the best...<P>------------------<BR>"Love isn't someplace that we fall, it's something that we do"--Clint Black<BR>

Some states have benefits for those who can't afford them. Here in Arizona we have ACCHS or something like that. Check into it...<P>Peter<P>------------------<BR>"Love isn't someplace that we fall, it's something that we do"--Clint Black<BR>