Hope these can atleast put a grin on someone's face.<P>++++++++++++++<BR>Ad seen in paper: FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer<BR>needed. Got married last weekend.<BR>Wife knows everything.<P>++++++++++++++<BR>Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? <BR>Dad: That happens in every country, son.<P>+++++++++++++++<BR>A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!" <BR>The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "B*TCH!"<BR>They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.<P>++++++++++++++<BR>"Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life." <BR>"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow," protested his nephew. "I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean."<P>+++++++++++++<BR>The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty.<BR>When he confronted his wife, she simply said, "It's my turn." <BR>"What do you mean, your turn?" yelled the husband. <BR>"In bed," she explained, "you've been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it's my turn."<P>++++++++++++<BR>A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "STOP! STOP! You're not<BR>going to cut it off, are you???" The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."<P>++++++++++++++<BR>One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual. It was cold and raining, so he decided to<BR>return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her.<BR>"Yes, And my idiot husband went fishing!"<P>++++++++++++<BR>A man wakes up his wife during the night with a glass of water in one hand<BR>and two aspirins in the other. She asks, "What's this for?" "This is for your headache," he says. She says, "But I don't have a headache." He smiles and says, "Gotcha!"<P>+++++++++++++<BR>A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune<BR>and weight and dropped in a coin. <BR>"Listen to this," he said to his wife,<BR>showing her a small, white card. "It<BR>says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." <BR>"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."<P>+++++++++++<BR>This man is at work one day when he notices that his male coworker is wearing an earring. This man knows his coworker to be a normally<BR>conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." "Yo, Bob, I didn't know you were into earrings." "Oh, yeah, sure," says Bob sheepishly. "Really? How long have you been wearing one?" "Ever<BR>since my wife found it in our bed."<P><BR>That's all folks<BR> [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P><p>[This message has been edited by Blues (edited August 26, 1999).]

Too Funny!!! Thanks for starting my day off with a smile.<P>------------------<BR>Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.<BR>* Viki

Thanks for the good wake-up laugh!

That was great..thanks!!!<P>------------------<BR>Susan

Thanks!!<P>Laughter - the best way to start the day!!

Too funny!!!! Thanks Blues.