What follows is the same survery, just recopied it so you guys would not have to scroll so far down to answer.<BR>Will post first week stats tomorrow.<BR>Thanks for playing along.<P><BR>Since I am toying with the idea of writing a book, I thought it might be interesting to take an unofficial survey of the members of this forum. Since we all are basically in the same ship (too large a group to call it a boat) may as well compile some casual statistics. Anyone game? <P>Please keep in mind that I do not do this for a living so some of the questions may not be worded well. I will try to make it simple, but recommend that you print the survey and simply type the question number and answer on your response. Or maybe the questionnaire can be pasted as <BR>part of your response and you can add your answers that way. Anyone who wants to add a <BR>question, feel free. If you are uncomfortable answering any of the questions, just don’t. <P>Here goes.. <P>1. Betrayed person is... <BR>a. Husband <BR>b. Wife <BR>2. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayed Husband <BR>b. Betrayed Wife <BR>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband <BR>b. Betrayer Wife <BR>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 - 30 <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>c. Between 40 - 50 <BR>d. Over 50 <BR>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 -30 <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>c. Between 40 - 50 <BR>d. Over 50 <BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>a. Between 1 - 5 years <BR>b. Between 5 - 10 years <BR>c. Between 10 - 20 years <BR>c. Over 20 years <BR>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one <BR>b. two <BR>c. three or more <BR>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage <BR>b. in life of Other Person <BR>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <BR>b. suspicious due to spouses behavior <BR>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>a. under 4 months <BR>b. 4 months to a year <BR>c. 1 to three years <BR>d. over 3 years <P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>a. Betrayer <BR>b. Betrayed spouse <BR>c. Both <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>a. Betrayer <BR>b. Betrayed spouse <BR>c. Both <BR>d. neither <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>c. conversation <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>f. an attractive spouse <BR>g. financial support <BR>h. domestic support <BR>i. family commitment <BR>j. admiration <BR>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>c. conversation <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>f. an attractive spouse <BR>g. financial support <BR>h. domestic support <BR>i. family commitment <BR>j. admiration <BR>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>c. conversation <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>f. an attractive spouse <BR>g. financial support <BR>h. domestic support <BR>i. family commitment <BR>j. admiration <BR>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>c. conversation <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>f. an attractive spouse <BR>g. financial support <BR>h. domestic support <BR>i. family commitment <BR>j. admiration <BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>a. yes<BR>b. no<BR>30. Is the other person married?<BR>a. yes<BR>b. no<P>I guess that about covers it. Can you think of anything else? <BR>Any additional comments welcome.<BR>[This message has been edited by Pilot's wife (edited August 21, 1999).]<BR>

oh boy, i can't wait to see the results (im a sucker for anything 'scientific')

1. Betrayed person is... <BR>a. Husband <P>2. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayed Husband - Engineering Director<P>3. Occupation of <BR>b. Betrayer Wife - Nurse <P>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <P>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <P>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>c. Between 10 - 20 years <P>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one <P>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <P>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage - 4<BR>b. in life of Other Person - 2<P>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <P>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>b. 4 months to a year <P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>b. yes <P>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>b. no<P>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <P>15. Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other Person?<BR>b. no <P>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes <P>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed?<BR>b. no <P>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>b. no <P>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>b. no <P>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <P>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage?<BR>c. Both <P>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>b. Betrayed spouse <P>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>b. no <P>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <P>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betrayed wife? <BR>N/A<P>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betrayed husband?<BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>j. admiration <P>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betraying wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>c. conversation <P>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betraying husband? <BR>N/A<P>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<P>30. Is the other person married?<BR>a. yes<BR>

1. Betrayed person is... <BR> husband<P>2. Occupation of Betrayed Husband <BR> information management<P>3. Occupation of Betrayer Wife <BR> business associate<P>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR> Between 30 - 40 <P>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR> Between 20 -30 <BR> <BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR> Between 1 - 5 years <BR> <BR>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR> one <P>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR> no <P>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR> in marriage 1<BR> in life of Other Person 0<P>10. Betrayed person was <BR> taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <P>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR> under 4 months <P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR> he did but doesn't now <BR> <BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR> no <P>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR> One wasn't in cyber space one was<BR> <BR>15. Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR> no <P>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR> no <P>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR> no <P>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR> yes <P>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR> yes <BR> <BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR> yes <P>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR> Both<BR> <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR> Both <BR> <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR> no <P>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR> no <P>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR> <BR>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR> conversation <BR> honesty and openness <P>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? <BR> affection <BR> conversation <BR> openness <P>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR> conversation <BR> honesty and openness <P>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR> no<P>30. Is the other person married?<BR> no<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by hopeful1771 (edited August 26, 1999).]

Here goes.. <P>1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife <BR>2. Occupation of<BR>b. Betrayed Wife was factory worker now hw and substitute teacher<BR>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband welder<BR>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 - 30 <BR>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>c. Between 10 - 20 years <BR>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage.<BR>b. two <BR>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <BR>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage 2<BR>b. in life of Other Person 0<BR>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. both.....believed when he denied<BR>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>d. over 3 years <BR>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>b. no <BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>a. yes <BR>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>b. no <BR>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes but was affraid op would tell<BR>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>a. yes <BR>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>a. yes <BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes as long as he does his part<BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>a. Betrayer <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>a. Betrayer <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>b. no <BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <BR>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife?<BR>c. conversation <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>j. admiration <BR>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>n/a<BR>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? <BR>n/a<BR>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying husband? <BR>b. sexual fullfillment<BR>however he says all was fullfilled<BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<BR>30. Is the other person married?<BR>b. no<BR>

#1-husband<BR>#2-insurance loss control consultant<BR>#3-RN<BR>#4-c<BR>#5-c<BR>#6-c<BR>#7-1<BR>#8-B<BR>#9-A-2<BR> B-3<BR>#10-A<BR>#11-B<BR>#12-A<BR>#13-A now he does, didn't before<BR>#14-B<BR>#15-A, caught them on the phone<BR>#16-A<BR>#17-B<BR>#18-B<BR>#19-B<BR>#20-A, but not now<BR>#21-B<BR>#22-B although wife and om are both going now.<BR>#23-A<BR>#24-A<BR>#25-N/A<BR>#26-I,J,A<BR>#27-A,C,H<BR>#28-N/A<BR>#29-A<BR>#30-Y<P>Age of OP-49, length of his marriage 20 yrs, his childrens ages- 19, ?, ?<BR>My childrens ages, 12 , 8

1. Betrayed person is... <BR>a. Husband <BR>2. Occupation of <BR>b. Betrayed Wife - contract specialist<BR>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband - engineer<BR>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>b. Between 5 - 10 years <BR>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one <BR>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <BR>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage - 1<BR>b. in life of Other Person ?<BR>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <BR>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>a. under 4 months <BR>b. 4 months to a year <BR>c. 1 to three years <BR>d. over 3 years <BR>e. still going on<P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>a. yes <BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>c. don't know <BR>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>b. no <BR>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes <BR>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <BR>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>b. no <BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>c. I don't know, he doesn't know <BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>c. Both <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>b. Betrayed spouse <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>a. yes <BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <BR>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>K. I was happy, just very sick.<P>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>c. conversation <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>f. an attractive spouse <P>j. admiration <BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<BR>30. Is the other person married?<BR>a. yes - going through a divorse<BR><P>------------------<BR>Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to<BR>stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something<BR>we'd like to have dinner with. (Sorry Guys)<BR>* Viki<BR>

1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife<P>2. Occupation of (at time of affair)<BR>b. Betrayed Wife - secretarial assistant<P>3. Occupation of (at time of affair)<BR>a. Betrayer Husband - maintenance dept in nursing home<P>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 - 30 <P>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 -30 <P>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>a. Between 1 - 5 years <P>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>c. three or more (throught our relationship, only 1 during the marriage, 1 a week before)<P>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no<BR> <BR>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage 3<BR>b. in life of Other Person 0<P>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <P>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>a. under 4 months <P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>a. yes (did)<P>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>a. yes <P>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no (I wish)<P>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>b. no <P>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes - without the questioning (guilt)<P>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <P>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>a. yes <P>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <P>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <P>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>c. Both now, at the time I found out he told me it was MY fault<P>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>c. Both <P>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>b. no <P>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <P>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betrayed wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>c. conversation <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>i. family commitment <BR>j. admiration <BR>(I picked six! Top would probably be a,c,d)<P>26. N/A<P>27. N/A<P>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betrayed husband? <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>f. an attractive spouse <P>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<P>30. Is the other person married?<BR>b. no<P>Just a question I would be interested in. How many affairs happened during pregnancy and/or within 1 year of a child being born? Mine was when my 1st daughter was 6 months old.<P><P>------------------<BR>Shoni<P><BR>

Thanks Chris, for reminding me about the copying and pasting thing <BR>1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife <P>2. Occupation of <BR>b. Betrayed Wife - language instructor<P>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband - office coordinator<P>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 (37)<P>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 (37 )<BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>c. Between 10 - 20 years (15 )<BR> <BR>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one <P>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <P>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage 2<BR>b. in life of other person 2 ( her two children were taken away by the court and given to the father - that should say something about her )<P>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <BR>b. suspicious due to spouses behavior <BR> Both I guess, I got suspicious about his behaviour for a about a week - the affair had just started that week. however the fact that there was an affair took me totally by surprise.<P>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <P>b. 4 months to a year ( 4 months,+ a couple more where she kept paging him and he would call her back but weren't meeting not even at work since he changed shifts.)<BR> <BR>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>a. yes <P>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>a. yes <P>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <P>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <P>After the affair was know they were caught coming out of an hotel ( actually by accident, I wasn't even spying )<P>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes <BR>b. no <BR>Not at first, but after talking for a few days yes, he admited ( although he said that the fact that she existed had nothing to do with his decision to leave )<P>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <P>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>a. yes <P>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <P>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <P>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>c. Both <BR>At first everything was my fault. WIth time, admitted that he had also contributed as much as I did.<P>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>b. Betrayed spouse <BR>c. Both <BR>I suggested counseling right away. He refused. Later he agreed to it.<P>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>b. no <P>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <P>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>j. admiration <P>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband?<BR>N/A <BR>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? <BR>N/A <BR>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <P>b. sexual fulfillment - however he says sex was great as usual, just not as much as before.<BR>f. an attractive spouse - I was on medication for 3 years that made me gain almost40 pounds, but had stopped the medication just before the affair and my weight was getting back to normal even before the affair started<BR>g. financial support - confusing hours of work with money earned. I was working part-time, but making the same money as before while working full time, so the money coming in was the same. His mom helped here, for her any work that is not physicall, and not full time is not work.<BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<P>30. Is the other person married?<P>b. no<BR>- divorced, twice, from the same husband <BR>

1. Betrayed person is... <BR>a. Husband <BR>2. Occupation of <BR>a. Sales<BR>3. Occupation of <BR>b. Customer service<BR>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>b. Between 5 - 10 years <BR>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one <BR>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <BR>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage - One 7yr, boy<BR>b. in life of Other Person 2 girls<BR>10. Betrayed person was <BR>b. suspicious due to spouses behavior <BR>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>d. over 3 years, (still going) <BR>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>a. yes <BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>a. yes <BR>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>b. no <BR>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes <BR>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <BR>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>b. no <BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>b. no <BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>b. Betrayed spouse <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>b. Betrayed spouse, she is going to group but not for saving the marriage<BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>b. no <BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>a. yes, she wants to buy her own house first <BR>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection <BR>c. conversation <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>j. admiration <BR>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>c. conversation <BR>f. an attractive spouse <BR>(these are merely guesses, she has said that he looks good and that she finally met someone she can talk to.)<BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<BR>30. Is the other person married?<BR>a. yes<BR>