Just having a down kind of day. My counseling is going well, we've got a plan in place to spend more time together, but I think H is only following it because I'm in counseling, thinks it's just another "thing" I'm going through. Got some great guidance from counseling....I tend to put too much into the relationship to make sure things happen, but then he does things only because I'm mad. So I've stopped that, and will now get the info I need, like does he really want to spend the amount of time I feel I need him to with me?<BR>So far, out of 3 of our planned "dates" he has asked to change our plans to do something at home. Rather than get upset, I just said whatever you prefer. He tends to start by saying "would you be mad..." & if I say yes, then he's only going because I am, and that defeats my purpose. Wed we just had plans to go to burger place 2 blocks away, then come home & play some games. Something simple. He instead wanted to order a pizza, wouldn't join me at the table to eat, but we did play cards for 1/2 hr.<BR>Then I'm feeling annoyed because he knows my issue is that we don't spend enough time together. So he starts a new job (teaching) and I think it's great that he wants to get involved, that he loves his job. I just wish he could balance his time. He tutors for 2 hrs Mon nights, he does b-ball coaching Tue & thurs, not hom till 8, does an afterschool thing Wed, home bout 6, then does a tutoring program on sat 7-12. Then he usually goes to the bar to watch football on Sundays. And where's our time together? I get stuck with the tired H who just wants to lay around and do nothing. Oh, and we're trying to incorporate little things back in (cards, notes, flowers) so he sends me an really cute Internet card. I loved it! He asked me that night if that counted as something, & I said yes! He then ruined it by saying "good, becasue it's just really inconvenient to stop & buy something" He stops at Jewel like every other morning for soda, cigarettes, whatever.<BR>I'm not mad at him anymore, it's not his fault...he's getting what he wants out of the realtionship. Unfortunately I'm not. I can only hope that over the next couple months he starts to look forward to our dates. I'm feeling quite neglected. Sorry if this was long and rambling. Just needed to vent.
