Have fought this battle for over a year. Some times were okay, other times were horrible. Long story short, H still after nearly a year of Plan A still struggles with feelings, won't follow up with recommended therapy and meds for depression. I don't know if OW is still involved or not...<P>After we took our youngest to school, I followed through with my plan to move into an apartment. We agreed to sell house, which sold after first prospects looked at it. I had reached my limit mentally of "being alone" while being with him. We would go entire evening when he wouldn't carry on a conversation. <P>Right now I feel I am "regressing". I felt strong and confident in my decision to leave. H has agreed to help me financially and basically agreed to anything I asked for. I have started crying again over nothing. I miss my son, I miss my house and yet, I miss my H. He kept saying before I left that he didn't want me to give up on him. I don't know whether to call him to keep the lines of communication open or let him have his space for a while. We are planning trip next month to see our son/go to the beach. I've been the doormat for over a year, and I don't want to continue to be one. However, as he himself admits, he is a "go to" person.<P>Any advice? I thought I was ready for Plan B. But now that it's here, I'm not so sure. I do feel I made the right decision to move, though, because I feel my stress level dropping. However, I don't want to throw away any chance we might have for reconciliation by not contacting him at all. BTW, I did not send a Plan B letter. <P>Well, I'm rambling. I don't want to fall apart here, but I feel myself folding... I have to go to the lawyers in 15 min. to sign the separation agreement. He was supposed to call me before I left to give me a time he was going to go so I could tell them to be ready. Haven't heard from him as yet.

This is the complete post. Don't know what happened with other one.

Dear Janie,<P>I replied on the other one - it was too short glad this one was full.<P>You can do a plan A even though you live in different places. It is up to you entirely. Regardless if you do A or B, there is no lovebusting.<P>On my other reply to the other post - I asked about measuring progress. <P>If you say progress is, for example: <P>A) Euphoric feeling of oneness with husband<P>Then I would say you haven't made any progress. But if you say<P>B) When I go to dinner with husband, and we didn't lovebust - and he opened the door for me...<P>Then you are measuring progress at a much smaller scale.<P>Sometimes the overwhelming feeling of no progress keeps us from looking for the small steps of progress. <P>Lower your expectations, into smaller measurable progress increments - and the gap between expectations and reality will narrow - and help you cope and make progress faster.<P>Because, the marriage isn't over when your behavior affects his behavior. Key element here! I hope you can grasp it!<BR>

I just got back from attorney's office. H never did call me to give me time he would go in and sign. Part of me wants to call him up and lovebust, but I won't. I'll just give him the number to call and set it up himelf. <P>Now that the papers are signed, I've done all there is to do to protect myself while at the same time plan A it whenever he comes around. Don't know whether to initiate contact or not. <P>I miss my son so much. Can't wait until Fall break so I can have his company for a couple of days. <P>