Don't misunderstand, I am not a heavy drinker my no means. Occasionally, very occassionally. I'm not going to spell check this. Right now, I don't care. Yes I am pie-eyed, three sheets to the wind, skunked and whatever else you can think of. I already e-mailed it all to Desiree. Just had to get it all out of my system. <P>Don't worry, my D is spending the night at a girlfiends. Wouldn't want her to see me this way. Thought,PERHAPS, H and I would have a interesting night alone, but instead of interestinly fun, it turned out to be intensely infuriating. Spelling is probably awful, but overlook it please. I'm numb in more ways than one right now. Don't know where I will sleep, don't feel like sharing the bed, he is already in it. I shouldn't be the one on the couch, but hey, H is superior.<BR>He tries to convince me of this. NOT buying it. <P>Right now he is just a butt hole in my bed. I'm glad he works tomorrow. I will have to whole day to nurse this hangover and not look at him. Sorry, guys, I just got so tired of taking all the crap from him. He verbally attacked my daughter,(according to him she can't do much right) Me, my family and anyone else I ever knew and didn't know. <P>What a major pain in the @ss he was tonight. I may go away Monday if possible. The way I feel now, he can do what he wants and probably will, the A-hole that he is. What happened to: " I will be a better husband, father, and be more involved with this family." There was more but I'm not going to go into it. Maybe some of you have heard this, I don't know. But I'm waiting and have been being so good and swallowing so much in order for HIM to feel comfortable, loved, etc. etc. NO, I am not NSR. He is one in a million. I only wish I was as strong as he is. I do admire him. He has been through so much and still wants his wife, even after all the horrible ways she treats him. She is a fool. <P>And I know there are many who have put up with so much, HOW DO YOU DO IT? I'm praying, but I have a hard time taking all the BS he tries to throw at me. And if he is that miserable then WHY be here. HE is making me and my daughter miserable. I would leave Monday to go up to see a girlfiend but don't want to leave my daughter with him. He brow beats her so much. <P>I have to stand up for her. And that is why the fight ensued tonight. He sees it his way and it is right according to him. So anything I say is futile and means nothing.<BR>Can anyone relate. HE needs help. <P>But I can't make him go to counseling and councelors in the past have told me as long as he is not willing to open up there is nothing they or I can do. Great. Now what?<P>So, in the meantime dear friends, I am drunk and H is asleep. He always goes to sleep when there is a conflict. I won't drive anywhere, promise. But I would love to turn up the music. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid, I have stupid in the bedroom.