Francesca~<BR>It was really quite funny I guess. We had been going to counselling for about 3 months and things were going really well. I sensed almost immediately that he had started an affair and I did question him. She was acting funny too, couldn't put my finger on it and then again I had the sense she was after him for awhile. <BR>We had a counselling session where I out and out asked him what he was looking for in our relationship and he deflated me totally by saying that I was his best friend, a great lover, and a good mother to his children and he JUST wanted to be able to communicate with me for the benefit of our children. I saw that for what it was, the declaration of a divorce without asking. On the way home from the counselling session I kept thinking about it and then started asking little questions like "Am I truly your best friend?" "Where do you see the two of us in a few years" "how do you think the TWO of us are going" Those type.<BR>We got home and he finally said that he just didn't see us going anywheres, that the relationship was gone. I sat in the chair across from him and asked him a long line of questions like......"I"m your best friend right" He said right "You love the way I take care of our kids right?" he said right "I'm a great lover, right?" he said right. I asked several more questions then I said I don't understand this, he thought the best of me but yet he didn't want to work on this, I told him I would understand it better if there was a woman in the picture but that wasn't the truth right? WRONG, he finally admitted to "talking" to another woman. I then asked him if it was D******e and he said yes. I asked him how far it had gone and he said just talking. I broke a couple of dishes and almost hit him when he tried to stop me and then I said something about just talking right? So if I called her she would say it was just talking right? He said I wouldn't dare and I did dare. It was a very emotional night with lots of lovebusting. I drank a full bottle of wine all by myself in less than an hour and I "laid down the law" I told him that after working in his law office for the last 3 years and putting off my own dreams I truly learnt how to be the biggest B*T*H around and I would use every bit of my experience to my advantage. I told him he had to choose between her and his children and that at least for the next two years while I pursued my goals after helping him he had to devote a true effort toward our relationship without her in the picture. She had to leave us totally alone until I was through with school and could support the kids on my own. (VERY BAD LOVEBUST, DON'T DO THIS AT HOME CHILDREN~ WISH I HAD SEEN THIS BOARD BEFORE I WENT OVERBOARD!) <BR>It worked even though he knows I wouldn't have done that in the long run. All my life men have taken advantage of me and I let them just leave, I never faught before. He was surprised and yet happy. I had faught to keep us together, even though I used something terrible like emotional blackmail. He said later that he was glad but it's taken me months to get over having used my children to hold us together. Now he said he's glad and I can tell she's completely gone, not only because of me but because of her actions after him stopping the affair. Maybe God was telling me what to do that night but it still damages my self image! Oh well........God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P>
