I know that several times I have posted about an attitude change, they ended up being extremely short lived. I guess the difference now is my understanding about what plan A is has completely changed. <BR>Plan A is NOT being a doormat, it is NOT accepting things as they are. It is simply looking to the future and striving to bring things to what you want in the future.<BR>Plan A has very little to do with your spouse and everything to do with YOU. For me plan A is plan Nicole(thanks again Lori-I owe that bit of insight to you). It is being the best Nicole that I can be-even when I am not feeling like it.<BR>Plan A is an Attitude and it is Acting on that attitude. It is changing behavior, actions and reations. I still have a long way to go in my Plan A but I am working on it.<BR>If plan A doesn't "work" on my marriage at least I will know that it "worked" on me. I am and will be a stronger, better person for the effort I put into Plan Nicole.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<P><BR>

sounds like you like the "new" you. I am glad you do, I pray we all can find that kind of peace soon.<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P><BR>

Nicole, you are a woman of great fortitude and integrity.<P>Your life will one that is lived well no matter what happens in the future.<P>You only can control your input...the outcome is not in your hands.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Roll Me Away said this on Nellie's post and I loved it so much I copied and am pasting it!<P>If you can continue to face this terrible ordeal with as much diginity and courage as possible, you can teach your children some of life's biggest lessons: Life ain't fair, but you pick up the pieces and keep going. When one door closes, look for another open door. Crap happens to everybody in their lifetime - it is just different crap for different people. We are all responsible for ourselves, only, and others must be responsible for themselves.<P>

Nicole:<P> <P>Lori

<B>Nicole,</B><P>Keep trying...you and Arik remind me of Sheryl and David - two people who really love each other but are "out of sync".<P>It is frustrating, but with continued efforts, patience, time and REALISTIC expectations for you both, you two will persevere!!!<P>Still praying for you both!<P>Roll Me Away<P><B>FHL,</B> thanks for the compliment! Please read my new thread and help me with my thinking, as I value your opinions very much!<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

RollMeAway - good comment about "two people who love each other but are out of synch" - that perfectly described DMac and me for years. Years!!<P>But if it helps anybody to hear it - you *can* get back in synch - and it's well worth the wait- and the pain. We've done it.<P>Nicole, you are one strong gal. I really admire your attitude toward all of this. If anyone can make this work, you can - but remember FHL's warning that ultimately, you can only do half of it, and the outcome is up to both of you. But you are making sure it won't be *your* failure that breaks the marriage. No one can do more, and you can, and *should*, like the person you see every morning in the mirror. Keep up the good work, Nicole. You're doing great. The best to you & Arik. Believe me, I know what your marriage is going through! We're all pulling for you both.<P>------------------<BR>~suse~<BR>Rome wasn't built in a day.<BR>

Thanks to all, I am trying everyday to be more of the person I was meant to be. I do realize however, that I can only do half the work but I am O.K. with that. The work I do to improve myself will be worth it even if my marriage doesn't survive.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<P><BR>