I have now been separated for two years, hoping that this attraction to the other woman would run its course. I think maybe it has to a degree, but my husband is pushing toward divorce mediation. This I'm sure is because the woman is putting the pressure on him. She is so concerned as her church would frown on their relationship.<P>Also our daughter's marriage is now in trouble and they are too separated. I had told my husband before that he was setting such a good example for our son-in-law. He became very angry and thought that the dissolution of their marriage was unlikely to happen. When I reminded him of this recently, he stated that he was the cause of anyone getting a divorce.<P>I am not sure that he is going to marry her once our divorce is final. Although I wouldn't be surprised. I can honestly say that I am fianlly ready to get on with it after all the pain. <P>I would like more information or thoughts on the success of second marriages which came about after an affair. This may sound terrible, but I think knowing that his second marriage was in trouble would be some redemption for all that I've been through.<P>Would love to hear from anyone who has been through a similar experience. <P>Thanks.

Martha642,<BR> There's some good info on second marriages after an affair in the book"Private Lies"by Frank Pittman.You can read a post here containing that info under:private lies posted by:mickey65 on Sept 7,99.Search the archives to find it. I have read that marriages that come about from a marriage-wrecking affair have a 95% failure rate if that helps to answer your question.A lot of people here have similar experiences.Take care. --Murph

Thanks Murph, for responding. I have searched for that post on Sept 7 and have been unable to find it. I am interested in any statistics of this kind.<P>Martha

Martha,<BR> I found it again just now.Click up on search,then search by user name(mickey65),and look for the post:private lies.It's been re-posted a few times,the last time this month.Good luck. --Murph

I just finished reading a book called " Picking Up the Pieces" and while giving no stats, it said that marriages resulting from affairs usually break down with 2 years because the unresolved problems from the first marriage will come back and haunt the new marriage too. Meaning what ever your H blamed you for in the marriage he will soon find something similar in the second. And since he has experinced divorce once, a second is "easier."<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger<P>

Thanks, Murph and RWD, for responding to my posts. I was able to locate "Private Lies" at my local bookstore. I'm hoping that I can get some closure in the ending of my marriage.<P>Martha