After they have been involved in an affair for over a year and lived with the ow do they ever want to come home? What does the ow have that the spouse doesn't? What keeps them addicted?

Brown0674<P>I am new to MB but I will give you my perspective on what you have asked. <P>Yes if your spouse has been involved in an affair for over a year and has lived with the OP they can and many times do still return home to their spouse. But until they cut it off TOTALLY with the OW they can not truely recomitt to you no matter how hard they or you try. Of course one of the most difficult things to do is to get them to stop seeing the OW. This is where plan A and possibly plan B come into effect.<P>Exactly what the OW has is really pretty specific to each individual situation. However in many cases the OW meets the needs that the spouse has not. Throw in the excitement and passon of *secret love* and you have a recipe for intrigue and addiction.<P>As to what keeps them addicted...... OW most likely hear all the negative aspects of their lovers life. How the W nags or isn't attentive enough etc. The OW then takes all her info and does a 180 as to what he has has or hasn't had from the marriage (or thinks he has or hasn't had)and makes a garden of eden type relationship with the man. They build a little love nest free of children, day in day out mundane life, money worries, and all the not so romantic and exciting aspects of every day life. That is where plan A comes in for the betrayed. It's kind of like fighting fire with fire. <P>Hopefully the betrayer will come to their senses and realize they do infact love their spouse and see they can not escape the less then exciting aspects of life even with the OW before it is too late! Of course even if they do end up divorcing their spouse they eventually come to this realization and regret what they threw away for all the wrong reasons. It's kinda like a house of cards. It eventually falls. No realtionship built on a foundation of lies and decite can grow and flourish. <P>Just my view on things.<P><BR>FC<BR>