I actually did plan A for a month before I knew he was having an affair. It too was with someone overseas, and I didn't really suspect him, even when he went for a week. He never before would be gone over the weekend.<P>He says he wants the marriage. Could you get him to agree to counselling? We are still working with Jennifer Harley. Her brother Steve also works over the phone. Yes, try your best to be loving, and correct any things that are wrong ( most of the time if all were "perfect", they wouldn't go outside.<P>But the counsellor would be in a much better position to convince him than you. (Don't tell him that). You actually have a better chance than many (as I did) because it's long distance. Once your h decides to break it, you won't have to worry about bumping into her, we have not heard even once from her after he broke it off (and yes, they were "in love"). You and he need to read Surviving an Affair and see there is hope for you both being passionately in love again. Ask him, if he could have a really passionate marriage with you, would he want it? Enough to give your marriage 100%? The counsellor could help him see there is no future in the affair. Is he going to "import" her? My h seriously considered and discussed this with OW.<P>Finally, do you ever travel with him? Jenn says that being apart itself means we cannot fully meet each other's needs. I went with him, kids and all many times before all this, but now he's agreed to leaving them and just I go. We were not having hardly any dating time, so the fantasy life was very appealing.<BR>We are still working on a possible career change, but in the meantime I am really juggling things to go with him.<P>If he agreed to take you, do you think he would still go see OW? I doubt it, leaving you in a foreign place by yourself.
