Ok, Andy, now you've got me thinking, dangerous as anything these days!!! <P>I posted an answer to you on my thread, but I'm interested in your opinion. Got any words of wisdom for me????<P>Thanks,<P>Lori

Hi Lori,<P>First, I'm going to preface this with a disclaimer -- you shouldn't listen to me cuz I'm really in a complete mess myself and I've been doubting my ability to help anyone anymore! I'm far from wise.<P>Having said that, I think you <B>should</B> give that letter to your husband. It's very well thought out and very beautiful. And what would you lose anyway? At worst he would not acknowledge it. At best it will get him thinking that maybe there <B>is</B> a chance. <P>It seems to me his biggest problem is his guilt, and the fact that he feels like a total failure. That letter will go a long way to giving him a little more confidence. Granted there's still a long road ahead for him to heal, but to me, that letter's a good sorta jump-start for him.<P>It really sounds like it's the right time for you to communicate what's in that letter. Even if he <B>doesn't</B> acknowledge it, you know he'll read it. He read everything else you gave him. And as you said in your other thread, he was thankful for them (kinda makes you happy you gave them to him, doesn't it?).<P>anyway, my $.02<BR>--andy

Thanks for getting back to me. Definitely worth considering. Hey, if you're like me, you can give OTHERS good advice, even when your own life is a mess!!!<P>Still pulling for your happiness, Andy.<P>Thanks,<P>Lori

Andy and Lori -- Forgive me for butting in here.....<P><B>Andy</B> -- <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I've been doubting my ability to help anyone anymore!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I've certainly <B>not</B> seen any indication of that in any of your posts/replies lately. I have to give you kudos. You really cut to the chase on this one and gave the advice that needed to be given. A pretty good example of insight, I would say.

HP, thanks for the vote of confidence. Sometimes it appears to me that a poster's problem has an obvious answer, and that's when I reply. Believe me, there have been many times over the past few weeks where I just <B>did not</B> reply because what I really wanted to say would've been too disruptive or non-constructive. I've actually gone as far as typing my response, and then not sending...<P>Hopefully, Lori, you'll send that letter to your hubby (or give it to him next time you see him).<P>--andy

andy,<P>DeWayne is just trying to tell you that we have been missing you - that's all!<P>So, in case you didn't get, I'll tell ya: We have been missing you! <P>Sounds like things are still at stalemate???? I hope that at least you are feeling supported and appreciated while working on the in-love feelings.....<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Sounds like things are still at stalemate???? I hope that at least you are feeling supported and appreciated while working on the in-love feelings.....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well... yes and no. Maybe, maybe not. How's that for ambivalent? <P>It's a frustrating road. But I'm sure my wife is as frustrated as I am (possibly more so). I mean, how long can you wait around for your spouse to be "in love" with you before you decide to just ditch everything? I don't want to make her miserable... but I have to be true to my feelings...<P>--andy<P>

andy,<P>I am sad for you. I am still hoping that somehow things can be better for you two. Is any of this still the withdrawal or do you feel it is the lack of a solid base to rebuild upon?<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>