I feel really bad right now, He told me he would not go into porn sites and cybersex chat anymore, that it was immature and he did not need it. That was 2 weeks ago. I discovered that he has been in them 3 times this week. I am tired of lies, if he is lying to me about this what else is he lying about. I found out about a local affair in April with a co-worker. <P>He found out I was writing into this site 2 weeks ago and got really mad. "Why do you have to tell everybody else our troubles". I am sitting here crying because this was a good man for 18 years, I would stick by him through thick and thin (and I have done it!) But this man is a stranger to me. <P>Tuesday night I stayed up and made him a special steak dinner for just the two of us when he got home from work at 11 pm. It was a great night. Then in the morning after he has cybersex with someone, he e-mails me "Thanks had a great evening, I love you". <P>He says I make him feel guilty and that I will never forget or trust him again. But if he wanted me to trust him would he continue to go into these sites and if he is still doing that is the rest of it really over??<P>Does anyone have any insight, I feel like hell and my girls will be home shortly from the bus. I know how disappointed they will be, they are aware of the problems. I really thought we were working things out.<P>What should I do? Oh God, please guide us all.<p>[This message has been edited by lila140 (edited August 26, 1999).]

Lila -<P>I'm so sorry for all of this... I'm sitting here with tears for you and your family.<P>I don't know what to say for you to do. I know what I want to say but that would just be a bad frame of mind and you don't need that. <P>Hopefully some of the others who know the Harley principles so well will come along........<P>K, vmv, Chris, tnt, FHL, etc......Lila needs some help here!!!!!<P>I'm sorry I can't be of more help at the moment Lila. Just know that I'm here and feel the pain you are in.<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Talk to me. I'm married, but I do occasionally look at pornography, and I chat online. Tell me what you think is missing in your marriage. I can give you some insight as to WHY men look at pornography, and cheat online.<P>luvbigareo@hotmail.com

Sexy and too Big, I have sent you an email, thank you for letting me.<P>Sheba, <BR>Thank you for responding, you do help me feel better or at least not quite so lost. When he saw my posts in here I asked him to register and post his own forums. but he said that it was not for him. At least it is healthy. Well wish me luck, I go back to the Dr. today for the test results on all my lumps. I also go see the counselor alone today. Why do we care so much, even now I am thinking about how he does not have any money and what he will eat for lunch today. <P>Thank you all for your help and prayers.