I have noticed that nine out of ten times, when the betrayed says they have no more feelings for their spouse, have gotten over him, healed, or whatever, in the next breath (or paragraph) they mention that they have found a new romantic interest. One has to wonder which came first - just as frequently the betrayer stops loving their spouse after the OP has come into the picture, I suspect that the betrayed often loses their feelings for their spouse after there is a new SO. <P>In the course for parents that I had to go to, the person running it mentioned that relationships begun too soon after separation/divorce are very often "transition relationships" - no surprise. There was actually a couple there who must have been OW/OM, since you're not allowed to attend class with your spouse - and in any case they certainly didn't look like they were divorcing. I can't believe they were so brazen as to attend a class like that together, in front of so many hurting people. <P>One guy there said that he had called his W's boyfriend, and told him that since his wife was exposing the children to him, he had better be good to them. His W claimed he treatened the OM, but he said he didn't - just told him he would shove his head up his a$$ if he wasn't good to the kids. Apparently the OM then broke it off with the W.

Yes, I agree with you. Usually a person finds someone else and either as the relationship with other person develops or if it is sudden, immediately afterward, the betrayer seeks justification in his own mind and manufactures "proof" or rewrites history.<P>And I think that is another reason that affairs are more about the betrayer than anything to do the betrayed.<P><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

FHL,<BR>It seemed from what I had been reading lately, that in many cases, "healing" or "moving on" by the betrayed person occurred only after they had started dating someone else - I can think of several examples where this seemed to be the case.