Ok, I know I'm late getting in here too ....<P>When I met my H, I had basically given up on men. I said to myself (and SOMEONE heard me) "I give up on trying to find the 'right man for me'..... If he shows up fine, if not.... that's fine too. I will be happy being me." about a week later, a friend of mine and I were at (yikes) a bar... we went out dancing with some friends..... I saw this guy over in the corner and.... POW.... his eyes spoke to me. We danced, he asked for my #, he call me the next day to ask me out and the rest is, as they say, history.<P>From the first time he held me in his arms when we danced I felt something (yes, me who had just professed to giving up on men). And, when he showed up (just like in my dreams) holding his hat in one hand, and a single red rose in his other..... I don't know how to explaine it... I just knew I wanted to/was ment to spend the rest of my life with him. If this is what everyone means by "SoulMate", then OK..... but I really think God was waiting for me to quit 'looking' on my own, so I could see what he was sending to me. This could become a VERY LONG post..... there is so much that has happend that makes me believe this even more that it would take a very long time to post it all... One thing is this~ we had many mutual friends, we worked in the same mall, and a couple of our mutual firends had tried to "fix us up" before.... but the timing was not right. When it WAS right.... we were guided to eachother. Someone told me it was really "weird" that we had never seen or met each other before.<P>Anyhoo..... I guess you could call it "soulmates" if you want to.... I don't know what I call it....... I just know it's here. (Devine Intervention, maybe??? )<BR><P>------------------<BR>God will not give me anything I cannot handle. That which he gives me will only make me stronger.<P><BR>

An old thread brought to the top for nostalgia......<P>

well, i have to say, i have always thought of my H as my soulmate. i have only threatened to leave him because i DO have self-respect.<BR>funny thing is, even though he was with OW so long, he still claims that i am the great love of his life...im his fourth wife. i wonder if that is true?<P>------------------<BR> <A HREF="http://www.alladvantage.com<BR>ID#" TARGET=_blank>www.alladvantage.com<BR>ID#</A> atp-113<P>

Wow - what a great topic!<P>I used to believe in soulmates. I don't anymore and I do think people use it to justify affairs. <P>Even people who had good relationships with their spouses can have affairs - what a great way to justify it. This new person is my soulmate. FOOEY! My H is battling this now. He has lost site that it is a choice. After 9 years I am his best friend and he doesn't want to loose my friendship. What happened to being a great wife. I wasn't bad until she came along - he even said that. The only thing they share that we haven't in a while is passion. If someone could show me someone as driven and career oriented as my H and a couple who have been thru everything we have that has the passion you share in a new realtionship - please share with me their secret. <P><BR>When you meet your spouse the - I can't live without you - I want you and can't do without you - etc, eventually turns to that comfortable love that only poeple who are true friends, partners, and lovers. When someone has an affair - those initial exciting feelings happen and you start all over. The person oyu spend your life with is a CHOICE. Some people are able to make those relationships last a lifetime some aren't or don't want to. It takes hard work and lots of commitment. Something that those who have affairs usually lack or loose site of. <P>The bottom line - soul mates are what you make of the term.

Well, Dazed... I thought about this back when this was originally posted, and I would <B>love</B> to read that story. Any chance of finding an “anonymous” server (i.e; GeoCities, or somesuch) and uploading it??? I’m not really into posting my email either.<P>BTW... I freely admit to being influenced/corrupted by the media “soulmate” drivel. I don’t know if that in itself influenced my natural “incurable romantic” tendencies, or was influenced <B>by</B> them. Regardless, “Titanic” is one of my all-time favorite movies; I’m a sucker for that kind of stuff (and <I>still</I> cry at the ending).<BR><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die

trustntruth,<P>Thanks for bringing this thread to the top. This has been a bug in my bonnet ever since I heard the OW say my H and her were soulmates, UGH!!! Yes, it seems to be a great way of justifying an affair. I no longer can even tolerate the term for I feel that it has lost all of its definition. She got it from some line in the "Thornbirds" saga. Such romantic drivel from one who did nothing but try and live my life and take over my family. I appreciated all of the comments on this thread for again it has been a healling for my soul. The only soul that counts is the one Jesus died to save, that is each individuals and that is individually! Thanks everyone for confirming my concern over this overused term. <P>------------------<BR>eyes wide open<BR>

Wow what a great topic.<P>I can see this from both sides. On one side, I believe that we have the ability to fall in love with and stay in love with a certain "type" of person.<P>On the other side, I do believe in many ways my H is the one I was "destined" to marry. I met him in college. I saw him in class, decided to sit by him, and made it my mission to get him. We fell in love quickly. We were together for three years and we were engaged, when he graduated from college and freaked out and decided he didn't want any responsibilities. He said "give me three years". I said "I'm not waiting for you."<P>We broke up, I graduated, went on with my life, and tried dating. No one ever measured up to him. No one came close. Then I finally got to the point where I said to myself I wasn't going to bother dating anymore because it was a waste of energy and time.<P>At that point (about three years, in fact) he called me to tell me I was the best relationship he'd ever had. A month later, I had a very intense dream about him, woke up at 6:00 in the morning and knew I HAD to call him and tell him that I still loved him. He said he still loved me. We got back together, he moved to my town, we got married. Soulmates? The hand of God? Fate? I don't know the definition.<P>And now, three years into our marriage, we are struggling. He's had two affairs, but expresses his remorse, says it will never happen again, and he comes to counseling with me. He says he loves me, and I'm still "the one", and also, he is still "the one" for me.<P>However you define our relationship, I'm grateful to have him. Although I've made it quite clear that even though I love him more than anything, I will not tolerate infidelity any more, and if it happens again, I will divorce him.<P>Sorry so long, just got on a roll!

Hi All,<P>Well fortunately I never got to hear that term from Val. She utilized the phrase "Wer'e only friends". Yes, friends that had to sneak around behind my back and hide the relationship from me.<P>My interpretation is "Wer'e only friends" = "soulmates" = This is the reason I will give to my S so I can sleep at night without feeling guilty for my selfish actions and breaking the sacred vow of marriage.<P>Sorry bitterness is surfacing for me.<P>Wishing all the Best.<P>Medic

I've been thinking about this "soulmate" crap for a while I think it is justification and rationalization,I think my W and I have achieved that ultra romanti love on many occasions. When we were in a "lull" as far as romantic love is concerned, it created a void in our relationship. This seeming distanceing gave that little [censored] the room he needed.Now my wife is seeing craving, compulsion, control, and damn the consiquences, as haveing found a "soulmate". All it realy is is co-dependancy, plain and simple addiction. Can you tell how bitter I am tonight? hehe<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Ahhhhhh, deja vu alllll over again. <P>Hi tnt,<P>This sure is a loaded topic. A very good one! I think I posted on this wayyyyy back in the beginning. My thoughts haven't changed much..."soulmate" can mean different things to different people. Most of the time, we all use the word to represent some romantic ideal. It's the classic fantasy. It has GOT to be THE most-used word to describe the FEELings of an affair. It's not the person, it's the chemical reaction. Whoa, huh? LOL<P>Yeah, I admit I used the same word during my little interlude (Puke). Probably alot of us "reformed" types did. But as a wise, wise man penned:<P>"I was wrong, and I admit it. My explanation, well they don't seem to git it." -Keb' Mo'<P>And a special note for WhoDat... dayam this Gaelic romanticism, eh? I got it too. <P>Catch you all later.