Maybe I should have posted this as a reply to my original message, but I wanted to make sure all of you that replied saw this. I can't thank you enough for the support. I know that yesterday was my first post, but I can't believe the relief I feel allready. Just knowing that I can express all of my feelings, fears and hurts, and it is met with understanding has made me feel at least a little stronger allready.<BR>Some of you suggested using caller ID to screen the phone calls, I probabally didn't explain that the calls are coming while we are at work. My H, the OW an me all work the same shift at the same company. but in different buildings. She was trying to get transfered, HA! the job posting closes today, I just found out she didn't turn in her resume or anything. She had to intention on taking the job. She maybe being pushed into doing it now, but it is clear that what whe tells me all the time is true, she is not going to give up. Anyway, we don't have caller ID there at work, but I do use it at home.<BR>It really isn't an option for my husband to change jobs, or to try and transfer himself. The only other option is for me to change jobs. I don't think that will help either, I think it will be worse to sit somewhere and wonder what is gong on than to be there at the same place. Plus with this woman, I can't let her feel like she is "getting rid" of me in any way. That's another tough thing about this I guess, in so many ways I feel like I am stuck with the situation, that I have no control over it at all. <BR>Well, I appreciate all of you so much. Thanks for letting me "vent"

No, I did not know the calls were happening at work. It makes it a little more difficult, but I think you can still control your situationn better.<BR>Do you have your own office/desk? If so, you can still use an answering machine on your phone. Just start recording when you realize it's her. <BR>If not, then I would start carrying around a notebook with you. WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING THAT WAS SAID. Including things you say like not having personal phone calls at work. Transfer it all to another book when you get home. You will want a back up log. <BR>Make sure you tell her about not handling personal business at the work place. Then if she continues to call, I would simply and Quietly hang up the phone without saying a word. That would have to take the fun out of it for her sooner or later.<BR>In the meantime, I would start looking into a restraining order/ stalking laws/ etc.<BR>There are a lot of lawyers who give a free consultation.<BR>Other then that, try to relax. She sounds mental and desperate. HOPEFULLY, she will move on and latch on to someone else.<BR>And no, I would not leave my job either. Stand your ground!! How long has she been at that job? She can't be very productive if she is so distracted. Maybe she will ruin this for herself?<BR>Hang in there. <BR>Lynn<p>[This message has been edited by Linda Beth (edited January 12, 2000).]

If it is impossible for your H to find a job elsewhere, I think you should stay there too. I don't think you should leave. Is it possible to go where he is and pick him up for lunch/dinner? If the OW sees this, can you show her that you are together....showing a united front?<P>I didn't realize that she was calling you at work. I thought it was at home. Everytime she calls you, I would suggest documenting what day, time, what she said. After documenting a few....then the next time she calls, tell her that you will report her harrassing calls to her supervisor. You will have the documention to prove your point.