My 15 yr old daughter wrote this paper for her Health and Family class. It just made me cry.<P> FAMILY VALUES<P>I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE IN FAMILY VALUES. THAT FAMILIES HAVE A COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER ABOVE ALL ELSE. THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD IT WAS YOU WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER. BUT NOT IN MY HOUSE. YOU SEE MY DAD LEFT. HE WAS MARRIED TO MY MOM FOR 18 YRS. HE CAME HOME ONE DAY AND SAID "I'M LEAVING. I AM NOT HAPPY ANYMORE". I KNOW THAT HE AND MY MOM HAD BEEN HAVING SOME FIGHTS AND HE WAS NOT HOME VERY MUCH, BUT I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD JUST LEAVE. I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT MY PARENTS LOVED US MORE THAN ANYTHING AND WE WOULD ALWAYS BE A FAMILY. I FOUND OUT THAT MY DAD MET A WOMAN OVER THE INTERNET AND HE HAD BEEN SEEING HER FOR A LONG TIME BEFORE HE LEFT. HE CALLS HER "JUST A FRIEND" AND SAYS IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH US KIDS. HOW COULD IT NOT? HE SAYS HE'S SORRY HE KNOWS THIS HURTS US, BUT HE DOESN'T STOP SEEING HER. AND HE TREATS MY MOM LIKE SHE IS NOTHING TO HIM ANYMORE. HE THINKS BECAUSE HE SAYS HE IS SORRY, THAT WE SHOULD JUST FORGIVE HIM AND SAY "THATS OK DAD, WE LOVE YOU ANYWAY". DOES HE NOT REALIZE WHAT HES DONE TO US? HOW IT MAKES US FEEL TO KNOW THAT HE JUST WENT AND FOUND SOMEONE ELSE. THAT HE HAS TAKEN AWAY THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD. OUR FAMILY. MAYBE FAMILY VALUES MEANS YOU TEACH YOUR KIDS RIGHT FROM WRONG, AND HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS. THAT YOU WORK OUT PROBLEMS NOT WALK AWAY FROM THEM. MAYBE IT MEANS I SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAY "IT'S OK DAD I LOVE YOU ANYWAY". NOT AT MY HOUSE. I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR MY DAD ANYMORE. HE CAN'T CARE ABOUT ME AND MY BROTHERS AND SISTER AND LIVE THE LIFE HE IS LIVING NOW. I DON'T KNOW IF I WILL EVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE MY DAD. I KNOW THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, AND THAT JUST MAKES ME FEEL REALLY SAD.<P><BR>It makes me really sad that my kids are suffering so much through this. I feel very lucky to have them. I don't know how I would make it through without them. Thoughts and prayers for me and my kids please. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.<P>Deb<P>

I have a 15 year old d too and I cried at the last short story she wrote. It is hardest on them. They didn't contribute to any of this.<P>Love and strength to your family.<P>Lori

did your h see this? if not he should....<P>Amanda<BR><P>------------------<BR>I will love my husband "Always & Forever" <BR>thevancefamily@hotmail.com<P><BR>

Dumped wife:<P>I hope you are feeling the prayers that I and many others on this site are saying for you and your family.<P>My 14-year-old daughter was the one who discovered my wife having an affair. She has been devastated by it...and I can only imagine what this has done to her value system. She also is very angry with her mother...and I worry that this has damaged her forever. <P>My 12-year-old tries to pretend that nothing has happened.<P>I will continue to pray for you and yours...and ask for your prayers in return.<P>Thanks!

Thanks all for your thoughts. The hardest thing is watching the kids and how this effects them. My 15 yr old won't talk to or see her dad at all, the twins (9) just don't understand why dad would leave, and my 2 yr old doesn't understand anything. I wish my husband could read some of the posts on this site, but i'm sure he would find most of it a waste of time. That is the place he is in right now. It's all a waste of time as far as hes concerned. after eights months of seperation I must admit that i"m starting to feel that way sometimes to! Well I must have some hope or I wouldn't keep coming back here? My hopes and prayers to everyone.<P>Deb

The kids certainly feel the effects. Our children are much younger, but displayed the affect on them by "acting out" w/bad behavior.<P>OW had a teenage sister living w/her. This teenager saw my H having this "relationship" in her home and when we took OW to court to get a restraining order, teenager was there. This "child" was rolling her eyes at me and giving me the "stare-down" as if I was wrong. I still, wonder, to this day what affect that had on that girl and what values she ultimately developed based on watching this affair.<P>I wish that all of our children affected by these situations could be protected from the hurst and devastation to the family unit. My prayers are with you and your family.<P>God Bless<BR>Enlightened<p>[This message has been edited by Enlightened (edited January 12, 2000).]

if H has not seen this I would make him a copy and send it to him. <BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com <P><BR>

That is so sad. I think my kids would agree with every word, except that their father has never even said he was sorry.<BR>

I hope you don't mind but I cut and pasted<BR>your post and sent it to my H's work email.<BR>I broke the "no contact" rule I had made; but, what you're daughter wrote was so moving...Thank you so much for sharing it.<BR>Our little girl is only 7 1/2...she won't let us forget the half! Anyway, I wish it would open his eyes. He won't even give us a chance.<BR>------------------<BR>For I know the thoughts I think<BR>toward you, saith the Lord,<BR>thoughts of peace, not of evil,<BR>to give you an expected end.<BR>Jeremiah 29:11<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Kyra (edited January 12, 2000).]

Dumpedwife;<P>I read what your daughter wrote and could hardly finish for the tears. It hurts bad enough but when it hurts your children the goes deeper even when you thought it could not. Your H should read this. Keep strong in God and I am praying for you and your children. We will never know why these things happen but know that you people there who care and God is always there. Wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom now, but they fail me at the moment. Stay strong and try to find comfort in Heaven above. Hugs and prayers go out to you.<p>[This message has been edited by devastated2 (edited January 13, 2000).]