<BR>Is there anyone out there who has tried to combine Plan A or Plan B with Divorce Busting? Aren't those ideas totally contrary? I really need an answer to this one. Thanks in advance. I am starting to implement Plan A.

Hi Molly -<P>I have had occasion to use Divorcebusing along with Plan A....works well as long as you apply it with common sense where it would not be a LoveBuster ....<P>For example....if asked "where do you want to do for lunch" and your usual response is "wherever you want" or "I don't care"......start naming a place!!<P>Things like that!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Sheba, <BR>Do you see the conflict with doing a 180 and meeting emotional needs. Or another example-H. is pulling away and you've been trying to meet needs, DB would say stop meeting needs so he know what he's missing, right? I think that I like Harley's approach better because it addresses the issue of restoring love. It seem Db may (not) just look at what boils down to Lovebusters. What do you think?

Hi Molly -<P>Well, I am certainly no expert at combining....haven't really practiced too much of the DB stuff.....H was gone and divorce was filed by him before I discovered all this.....<P>I have only applied it to my reactions to H wherever possible.....when it has popped in my swirling head to do so!!!<P>I feel that DB has a lot of common sense and what I call "change the feel" techniques.....good for a shakeup of the expected.<P>I definitely believe more strongly in the PLAN A method of Dr. Harley....it's more in line with how I am. I am not good at strategizing and directing how I should make a move to get a certain result. <P>I am much better at the "Just love and be nice" approach while trying to work on me.<P>It's all in your own situation, I guess!<P>Do what you feel more comfortable with. Experiment with both and see what results you get. <P>The DB really works great to throw my H off with the routine he has of communicating with me since all this started.....Have to use it appropriately though!! Just for little things.....like tonight he called and asked why I hadn't returned his call yesterday. I told him I was out. (period!) When he pushed on the details - I just said with friends - why? Usually I would have told him all....not necessary for him to know now that he is not here and wanting to be in my life!!<P>He didn't like it too well....started him thinking that I may have people to play with too!!! At the end of the conversation, I told him to call me first before coming over on the weekend and he said " Why, you're never home!!"<P>So, it started him thinking about something other than what HE is doing!!<P>That's a positive!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba