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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 184
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OP
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 184 |
Right now I feel like the worst dad in the world. I have the kids for the night and they of course are grumpy, and me having the flu I am edgy.<P>My wife is slowly cutting me out of communication with her. Any talk is short and to the point. If it can be avoided it is.<P>I feel like I have no one to talk to yet she does (OM). She needs to think and come to peace with any relationships (she told me she isn't having one with him but she talks to him and not me). <P>I feel like no one loves me. Its just so hard to cope right now when I feel like crying my head off. I want someone and right now anyone will do... What a horrible person I am.<P>Without Love<P>J
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 239
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 239 |
J,<BR> If you have you children tonight, hug them, love them, tell them how much you love them, maybe play a game with them. You are not a bad dad, just a person who has been put in a very bad situation. You are not a horrible person. Your W may be talking to OM, but you have so many people here to talk to. You are not alone!! Your children love you, cherish that. We are all here for you. Now go hug your kids!! Monique
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247 |
Monique's right. You have beautiful blessings there to love you. Take full advantage of it.<P>And I KNOW that's not what you want or need, but that will come in it's own time.<P>We're here, too, ya know? Anytime.<P>Hang in there.<P>Lori
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 184
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 184 |
Is there something I can say to her to remind her that I am here and loving her? Just saying I love you at the end of the conversation we may have doesnt really phase her?<P>Anything...?<P>Man it hurts, thanks for the support<BR>I went and hugged my little girl<P>J
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 239
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 239 |
The letter writing seems to be a very good way to get your feelings across, but only good nice things - no love busting. Remind her of why you feel in love with her and how you want to spend the rest of your life. <BR> Maybe ask her out on a date - something very romantic - just the two of you. <BR> Send her a rose at home or work with a little note. "Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you" <BR> Think of all of the things you did to win her over in the first place and do them again. Monique <P><p>[This message has been edited by Monique (edited January 12, 2000).]
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 184
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 184 |
Well I had to write her something so since I couldn't really tell her what I wanted I wrote this instead (keeping in mind S is 1yr and M is 3yr)<P>"We had a not to bad evening, Sarah wanted to stay up late but we discussed the situation and agreed that in the interests of sanity and good fathership she should hit the sack. Problem occurred when Megan asked to make it a democratic vote and I was outvoted 2 to 1. It didn't occur to me till after the popcorn and pop that I have Veto power as the Father but they tucked me in and I was out like a light.<BR> <BR>I hope you got some sleep in and enjoyed the privacy.<BR> <BR>'The dumb guy who chased you down the side of a mountain'<BR> <BR>James "<P>This ok?<BR>J<BR>
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 239
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 239 |
If you really want her to know that the "I love you" is real then you need to dig deeper! Read the post that MEDIC238 posted. It was called "letter to Val ...." <BR> Monique
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247 |
Look, it depends on where she is. If she's receptive, go further. <P>My H wasn't. He wanted a divorce. He didn't want to see me AT ALL!! He wanted to pretend I had never happened.<P>I had to keep it light. Stories, funnies, stuff about our day. A teeny tiny bit of affection thrown in. <P>Now, I send plain ole "I love you" cards. Straight up, no holes barred. And he thinks they're "sweet".<P>Big change, huh? But had to do it a little at a time.<P>You're doing ok? Just take your time. (Time - that'll be a four-letter word for you once you're done!!)<P>Hang in there.<P>Lori
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 277
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 277 |
James , i wanna talk to her so bad ot hurts. I have imaginary talks with her in the apartment by myself. Sometimes, Jake is ther and he asks me " Dad, who you talking to?"<P>I feel a ittle silly when he says that.<P>When I have Jake , I just be there for him. Take him to the library, play video games, cars, whatever. Not the christmas is every day Dad, but a good Dad who is there for his kid.<P>Just ask for a hug and a kiss every once in a while, lets them know that Dad needs love too, and helps them to know that they are loved.<P>take care.
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