lizam:<P>It's a very nice workbook, but it should be used in conjunction with "Lovebusters" and "His Needs/Her Needs". Especially with the couples in crisis, I'd strongly suggest "Lovebusters" as the first book.<P>In addition, Harley's book "Give and Take" is an excellent synopsis of Harley's concepts---and it spends a lot of time on the Policy of Joint Agreement and how to negotiate. It also has sections on Lovebusteres and Emotional Needs, but these are covered more thoroughly in the books above.<P>For a complete package, I'd recommend all four books. You can call Marriagebuilders at (651-481-9111) and see if they can give you a discount for this size order.<P>For tips: introduce Harley's Four Rules for a Successful Marriage:<P>Protection (no lovebusters)<BR>Care (meet emotional needs)<BR>Honesty (complete, total---without lovebusters)<BR>Time (quality time together)<P>Then introduce the concept of the Policy of Joint Agreement and how to negotiate when using the POJA. <P>From there, it's identification of lovebusters, sharing them with your spouse (there are specific rules, but they amount to "shut up and listen to your spouse---they're giving you important information"---never "argue" or "defend"). Once shared, the next job is to make a plan to eliminate the behaviors (worse ones first)---using the POJA to agree on a plan that has definable goals. Keep journals when your spouse does well (or not)---positive feedback is more important than negative at this stage.<P>Once lovebusters are being worked on successfully, you're on to the same process with emotional needs. Identification, sharing, planning, execution of the plan.<P>After that---happy marriages!!!
