I am trying to be patient and bite my tongue on many issues but I truly love my H and tell him this each day. Could this be seen as being too pushy. He doesn't react in a negative manner just usually responds to it by saying he knows. I am trying to make deposits to the bank but am not sure if this could be too much for him. I have to admit when I left for work this morning I did tell him I loved him and that I wanted to hear those words from his mouth again soon. I said I didn't want him to get rid of me. A line I overheard him tell the OW when his cell phone got left on. He was very drunk that night so I am hoping that some of the things he said that hurt me so much were in part due to the alcohol. Am I wrong to think this way.

I have the exact same question. He'll say he knows when I tell him. I'm looking forward to some responses.

i don't think telling him "i love you" is a love buster, but you may be love busting yourself (is there such a thing?) since he doesn't say it back.<BR> my husband has always said i love you ALL the time. lots of times every day, until it lost all meaning. when we were separated he stopped and i missed it. but before that, sometimes i wouldn't say it back because was vainly trying to get his attention, it didn't work. now, in recovery, he says it and i have a hard time, sometimes i say it and sometimes i say other things. i don't like that feeling of being pressured into saying i love you when i am not totally sure how i feel. yes i love him, but for me "love" is a sticky concept/word most of the time. it means PAIN, rejection, and lies. i know he told me he loved me several times a day throughout the whole affair. so i don't want to keep saying it. i wonder "what does that mean?" as i write this i realize it has very little to do with what you asked, since i am the betrayed also.<BR> anyway, all i wanted to get across is that just because he doesn't want to say it, doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. and he may not be ready to return your words. being patient really sucks, but that is what you need to do. maybe you could restrain yourself, and maybe he'll miss it. or maybe you could tell him you love him and not even give him a chance to respond, so that he will not feel pressured to. <BR>i think of a verse, galations 6:9 which says "do not grow weary in well doing, for in time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up". don't give up hope.<BR>

There is nothing wrong with telling your H that you love him. I don't think that is a lovebuster. Maybe he needs to be reminded of that from time to time.

Hi Bc,<BR> I don't think the I love you is a lovebuster unless you say it only expecting to get an I love you in response. Think of saying it with an open heart just to let him know and no expectations in return. My husband was silent after I said it for a long while, then one day I said it on the phone and he responded back! If it really makes him seem uncomfortable try to stop saying it so much.<BR>Laura