I have read many posts here about staying in Plan A as long as possible before going to Plan B. I've read SAA and understand that 6 months may be a minimum time to give Plan A a chance.<P>I've only been in Plan A 6 weeks (found out and confronted her Oct 31, 1999) and it's driving me nuts to know my wife still sees the OM. I know she was with him last evening and I know she's making plans to see him this weekend (she has to work Sat. and Sun. to help her company with a location move). She plans to spend Sat. night with her mother as she lives close to where the company is moving and so wife figured that she might as well stay at her mother's to make it easier to get to work on Sun. (A justifiable overnight.....how original!)<P>I see people here with so much more patience than I think I have. I see through her activities (what she admits and what she doesn't) enough to know exactly what's going on and it makes crazy not to just jump into Plan B and try to push a resolution. The only thing stopping me is our 20 years together and trying to believe putting up with my own pain for at least another 4 1/2 months is worth it.<P>In an effort to avoid LB's, I've not asked too often (maybe, every other week) whether or not she's continuing to see the OM. Sometimes she's honest and sometimes not. Should I ask more often in hopes of trying to initate more guilt feelings in her or will it simply end up being an LB?<P>When folks say Plan A isn't easy, they aren't kidding.

Plan A is difficult. I was able to manage it better when I looked at it as improving myself and had very low expectations from my spouse.<P>Other books that helped me with Plan A ideas/behaviors:<P>Divorce Busting by Weiner-Davis<BR>How to get your lover back by Harris<BR>Your husband's midlife crisis by Conway (there is also Women in midlife crisis by the same author)<BR>Love Life by Wheat<P>Good luck<BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>