I can not believe what I just heard myself saying to husband. For background, the OW works for my H. (She was supposedly going to get a transfer, but found out she didn't even send in resume) H is going to be losing a lot of his managment personel soon. Work is not going real well anyway. But I actually told H that if OW was such a good manager, to keep her there!!! I can't believe it came from my mouth! How in the world could I say that????? There is know way I can live through that, especially not with the way she is still going after him, and the way she calls me too. I know I was just trying to be supportive, but my GOSH! DUH! What have I done? He said no he couldn't do that to me. But, what am I going to do if she doesn't get a transfer? how in the world am I going to go back on what I said, and say I want her gone? Guess I can claim temporary insanity. Though it doesn't feel so temporary anymore.<BR>Advice? should I talk to him right now, and try to explain , that I was just trying to be supportive, but I went to far? Should I tell him that I won't back down, and I still want her gone? (off the face of the earth would be best) AAAAAAGHHHHH!!!

Just tell him that while you thought that would have worked because you know he is trying, you have put some thought into it and have realized that you really couldn't handle it. Be honest or it may bite you in the butt. Monique

Ditto Monique. We all say things sometimes without keeping the "end in mind". There is nothing wrong with telling H that when he hurts you hurt and that is where your comment came from - it would hurt him to lose as many staff as it appears he will. The flip side is naturally that this suggestion hurts you. I'm sure that he will understand your change of heart in light of the fact that your initial suggestion arrose from your efforts to work things through.<P>I understand where you are coming from. Despite feeling miserable every time H headed off to a strip joint, there was a circumstance that I actually considered telling him to go (bachelor party) because NOT going could embarrass him or cause him to not enjoy the evening as much - in the mean time, it would have meant huge emotional withdrawal because of how I would have felt knowing how he "behaves" in such a quality venue......damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of....... You do owe it to YOU to discuss with H soon before it eats further away at you and becomes even more of an issue than it is.