Hi Folks:<P>I'm not sure if this is a retirement speech, or just a sabbatical, but I'm going to be taking my leave of the Forum for a while. I've been planning this for some time (like the last 6 months), so it's time to do it!<P>I've been here pretty much non-stop for 18 months now. I came here not really seeking help, but rather to offer it: my experiences with the MarriageBuilder methods has been very positive. This web site is a tremendous source of information and hope; Dr. Harley's books are more complete versions of this sites information, and finally, the counseling that I did with Steve Harley really helped me tie the principles together. <P>I've tried to spend my 18 months and thousands of posts trying to help people learn and apply the concepts, and give them the hope that although infidelity may seem like an impossible, hopeless situation, that amazing growth and results can happen in spite of it. It's certainly the case for me, and my wife, and our family. It was my hope to share some of my good fortune with people here, and help them create their own successes. And there have been several here!<P>I wanted to send people that I feel a special connection with messages---but when I counted them up, there are well over 100. That's a lot of people!!! A lot of stories to remember and keep straight. Trust me when I say that I've got places in my heart for all you: the old-timers who I don't see anymore (or rarely visit), my "contemporaries", and then the ever-growing influx of new faces. And I'm going to miss you, and miss the (successful) evolution of your lives.<P>I'd love to leave with a pithy paragraph paraphrasing (I love alliteration... ) everything I've learned here. But it's taken the experts "books" to do that, so I won't try. What I will say is that the MarriageBuilders process virtually guarantees you success. As a person. Application of the principles in a marriage by both parties will give you that marriage you want. But one spouse can make a difference, even in a marriage that looks hopeless. There are no guarantees to save a troubled marriage---but it's my firm belief that going through this process correctly will heal yourself and give you tremendous growth, regardless of the outcome of the marriage. <P>If you have trouble with the website, read the books. Ask questions here. For the best application, quickest results, or for the worse cases, strongly consider counseling with Steve by phone.<P>Take care, everyone. It's time for me to spend a little more attention to my job---my time here has rarely been at the expense of my family or marriage (Steve taught me well... ). And God bless!!

K,<P>You have been an incredible mentor...<BR>Sometimes I think you don't realize your own impact.<P>Yes... you know more than most, that your time for this was comming... <P>I admire your resolve...<P>God grant you rewards doubling all the time and work <B>you</B> put into this forum... you deserve so much more... <P>Of course you know...<BR>Any time spent here... in the future... means more of His blessing on you. <P>You are a man... I can honestly say I Loved... in His eyes... I'll be a witness for you. <P>Jim<BR>------------------<BR>I can dare myself... I'll put a pebble in my shoe...<BR>I can walk... I can walk! I shall call the pebble Dare...<BR>Dare shall be carried... And when we both have had enough<BR>I will take him from my shoe, singing... "Meet your new road!"...<BR>Finally glad... Finally glad... That you are here... By my side...

K,<BR>I'm polishing up my speech as well, but since this place stills challenges me to grow, as well as filling my need for emotional type conversation, I reason it is still helping me in my marriage even though I am no longer threatened by the old infidelity and will seek each day not to allow my marriage to be vunerable again. Now that was one long sentence I won't bother editing.<P>K, you have taught me much and have challenged me. Even when I counter your thoughts, it is with a great deal of respect.<P>It has been a pleasure being here with you and I wish you and your family all the best!<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

K,<P>I couldn't pass *this* one up! But truly, I hardly know where to begin.<P>I guess all I can say is that you are the finest example here of being able to save a marriage that is in dire straits due to infidelity. And you have been so generous in sharing your knowledge and emotional support with everyone here. And most amazingly, I have never seen you *lose your cool* with anyone!! <P>I have enormous admiration for you, K, and wish you all the best. You have been a wonderful friend to so many here. I hope you will pop on here from time to time, but I do understand the need to move on in real life.<P>What else is there to say?? We'll miss you!!!<P>Suse

K - You have always offered me such hope and sound advice. I haven't been posting very much lately, but do read quite a bit. I, too, feel I need to step back for a while as I feel my H and I are finally starting on the road of recovery, albeit long distance. Like you, my heart goes out to all the new people and hopefully someone with your wisdom will step in and help. Best wishes, Janie

Uh...does this mean you're caving on the breast implants issue?

*snort!* D&C, you are too much!

D&C:<P>You are too much!! The truth be told, it's going to take a while to recover from my penile implant surgery.

k,<P>If I was still around here I'd say thanks for all the help. You've been great. Sure hope you "get some" someday. I don't want to have to break a record that's too long!

K, I too have really benefitted from your story. Our situations aren't much alike, but you helped mold my perseverance.<P>My marriage might not make it, but I have given it time, patience & MB. And no regrets with any of that.<P>Thanks for the example.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{k}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)

K.-<BR>I bid you farewell...thank you from the bottome of my heart for the countless words of wisdom you have given me over the past 15 months, although not as much lately since I have been off the board as well. You have such tremendous insight and wisdom! Thank you!<BR>On a personal note....My H and I are doing so well! I firmly believe that if it were not for this board and Dear Steve H., we would be dvorced right now. We have grown so incredibly much over these months, and it is like no marriage we could have imagined. Lots of luck and love to your beautiful family!<BR>XO,<BR>Sally <P>------------------<BR>You will be stronger because of this.<P>

Hi K -<P>Oh my! Implants and "not getting any" talk....hmmmm!! Sorry Chris, but you are in no danger of winning the "going without" award!!! I think I have that one hands down..... <P>Well, I am sorry to see you leave....you are such a positive, pulling back to the MB principles mentor around here.<P>I, for one, am very grateful and indebted to you for all your insight and direction.....THANK YOU!!!!!<P>BIG HUGS and I wish you and yours all the best!!<P>Sheba

K, I will really miss you... It seems I was always hoping to see your replies, as sort of a finality as to the "correct" answer... I know you have fully discovered the MB principles do work, and I am so glad that you were here to help us through some of the journey.<P>God Bless you, and you will be remembered.<BR>tnt

K: I'm sure you'll be back someday. I also know that what I said is not why you are leaving, I hope everyone else does too. I'm actually going to miss talking to you. I am coming to a point in my situation where you would have been the most help. She is due in May, so the time draws near.<P>Perhaps you'll be back before then huh. Have a nice one.<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.<P><BR>

Steve...oops...I mean K , <P>You have probably touched the lives of everyone that has crossed this board during your tenure. I think we are all better because of it.<P>You're a good man. <P>All I can say is <B>well done K!</B><P>SHA

K,<P>I am sorry that it is time for you to move on for awhile, but I do understand your need to spend more time with spouse and family. I hope that I can post that as a reason for me to go when the time comes for my departure. Like Paul, I could still benefit from your experience, so it is extra sad that you won't be around.<P>You helped me specifically in two ways. The more important was to get me to call Steve Harley. I was vicariously convinced when you were trying to talk SHA into doing it! If my marriage does not succeed, I will surely know that I not only tried MY best, but I also followed the advice of those who have a proven track record behind them. The second way was to help me to stay focused on what my goal is and to see things in light of are they helping me achieve my goal or not.<P>You have a great insight into helping others see that it is not so much the EFFORTS that gain the goal, but more importantly, the EFFECTIVENESS of the efforts that help achieve true progress.<P>Wishing you, your W and your family the very best that life can offer. I truly hope that if you do come back some time in the future, that I am gone from here, because I am happily busy rebuilding my own family!<P>God bless,<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Hi K,<P> So sorry to see you go but I'm hoping that you will pop up like Chris(even though he said he was leaving You have been a tremendous help and your refrain of "Give Steve a call" finally sunk in to this feeble brain! Take care!! Lu

K,<P>Even though we never responded directly to one another, I want to thank you for your insight and wisdom. My sessions w/Steve, haveing read their books and your working knowlege of these principles, I have a greater understanding of what it,s going to take for me.<P>Before you sign off, I was going to post asking you and other survivors some ideas on dealing w/anger. I have gotton the no lovebusting part down. I'm struggling w/ wanting to really give my W a piece of my mind. If you could take just a moment and offer some suggestions, I would be most greatful.<P>May the good Lord continue to bless you and your family. You truly are a benchmark for us all. God bless and take care.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

K - Thanks for being one of the few people here (I don't include myself) who really has a good working grasp of Dr. H's methods and how to apply them. You kept the rest of us from getting too far off track (something we more than occasionally tend to do, I suspect). We'll miss your wisdom and charity. And congrats on restoring your own marriage and family the way it sounds like you've done. Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

K-<BR>i usually do a double take when i read your responses, and have to remind myself that you are not employed by MB (or ARE you....hmmmm)<BR>thanks for being such a level-headed presence around here, you have been a great help to a great many.<BR>my prayers are with you,<BR>julie