I may just post it here anyway..what do ya say?<P>I am in a bad way right now. I am crying.I miss her soo much They came over for supper and I made them a fantastic meal. Tam had wanted to use my computer to look for a different job. Seems that is the only reason. She enjoyed the meal, etc.<P>She says she changes her mind and views day to day.<P>I think that I am strong and then I am feeling like a wuss. I gave her a letter about how us, no LB but things that I have been thinking and working on.<P>It just seems she isn't adjusting her life and making decisions on marriage but on being single. I hurt and I feel like going to the bar and getting loaded.<P>I just dont have any friends really.<BR>Aren't I just a pathetic thing.<P>Funny isnt it, when you say that you wont think much of something so you wont get your hopes up, and you dash them anyway...<P>J<BR>

It's ok James, you're not pathetic. You're going throught the biggest thing you'll ever go through and it takes a toll on all of us.<P>Take a deep breath and read your mail. Now take another deep breath. Keep doing it. It'll be ok. I promise. <P>Now tell me how you're doing. I wasn't on when you posted.<P>lori