I have nothing new to say or ask. I am playing the waiting game until H files for divorce. I just really miss him tonight. Has anyone seen "City of Angels". There was a part when the angel stays with Meg Ryan and holds her thru the night so she can sleep and she has the best night sleep. That is what my H was to me and I would give anything for a good night sleep. <P>I keep feeling like H will never be sorry for the pain that he has caused and for his infidelity. I just wish he knew all the things in our marriage that I am sorry for. I know what my part was in all this and I wish that I could go back and change it.<P>Friends don't understand how devastating H leaving has been for me. They don't understand how I can miss him and still love him after he left me for OW. How could I not? He was/is the most important part of the last 7 years of my life. How do I forget all that in 2 months? <P>Sorry, just having a pitty party. Anyone want to join?? Take care, all.

People forget, they just don't understand. No one would question it in the least if you were grieving for a spouse who passed away. yet a wonderful minister told me once that this is the same grief, adding the insecurities and pain of being rejected.<P>Try to take care of yourself tonight. And keep working on you, divorce or no divorce. Plan A is for YOU remember. To make you strong and sure of yourself. <P>Tonight you're sad. I remember those days, still have one occasionally, but not so deep. Just hold on and remember we're here for you.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{studentwife}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Lori

<small>[ January 24, 2005, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

{{{{{{{{{{<B>studentwife</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>I hear you...<P>It is so hard to wait through this <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>... wait and see period... <P>We're still here (even though about 10 left us this week <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/011905.html" TARGET=_blank>For those who are moving on...</A>)<P>Every night... do a little something for yourself... <B>you deserve it!</B><P>Prayers... <P>Jim

Studentwife,<BR>I know I still get comments that I should get on with my life. What people don't understand is that he is part a big part of my life. Just hang on. You don't get over it but the pain gets less each day. It is still there but it is more bearable each day. And each day plan A gets easier. Nothing much I just send a card everyonce in a while. I know it probably makes her angry but I think if he can see that no matter what I still care and I still love him then there is hope that one day he will realize that what we had and have is real and what he has with her is not. It is hard to wait and I know that the longer it takes the better chance there will be that I will start to fall out of love with him because of the pain, but that history we have together is very strong. email me if you need to talk. diseiler@hotmail.com Lots of {{{{HUGS}}}}<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

I am so so sorry for your pain. I will pray for you tonight! Wrap yourself up in the arms of Jesus.

Studentwife<P>I know your pain of sleepless nights. My heart goes out to you. As you can see it is 3:00Am here and I'm not interested in crawling into that big bed all alone tonight either.<P>As far as him never feeling sorry for the pain he has inflicted on you.... If he is human he most likely feels it already or will eventually. He just can't show it to you yet. Afterall that would make him acknowledge it. <P>As for friends.... I know most everyone that cares about me just dosen't understand why I haven't filled for divorce and will be very upset with me if I let him come home again. But that will be my descion not theirs. <P>It has only been 2 months since your H left, right? I have been on this roller coaster for over 2 YEARS. During the first 2 months after he left the first time my H was treating me like I was the Adolf Hitler of realtionships! He even filled for divorce (as did I). <P>But here I am being wooed by him two and a half years after his initial departure to live with OW. <P>Don't think about bringing up any of the less than stellar things you did in the past. Just take every opportunilty to SHOW him what a wonderful wife you are NOW. <P>Persaverance, does pay off!<P>FC<BR>(who if she threw a pity party she would certainly invite you) <P>