...to thank all of you for being so kind to me. I feel that I don't deserve it, I know I shouldn't say that....but, THANK YOU...you have been so good to me even though I was the betrayer...I love you all!!!!!! I will try, harder than I've ever tried before to change my life and my marriage. Now, for the next step, letting go of the OM and trying to 'fall in love' with a husband who I have never had attraction to; (but always loved as a friend.) I never did have the flame...

The flame can still be lit. <P>If you had asked me during most of our marriage if I would leave my H if he were unfaithful I would have said yes, in a heartbeat. I was not happy. When we read His Needs Her Needs I discovered that the only emotional need he was satisfying was Financial Security and there were a lot of times when that area was very unpredictable and unstable. It was no wonder I didn't feel romantic love for him. I continued to take care of him and treat with with respect as the father of my children.<P>He said that I satisfied his domestic needs, but did not satisfy his need for physical contact and appreciation,and then eventually didn't satisfy his need for physical attraction. That is what the other woman gave him. I didn't satisfy these things because I didn't feel loved. He didn't satisfy my needs because he didn't know what they were. He not satisfying mine made me less able to satisfy his, whic made it harder to satisfy mine. It became a terrible cycle that spiralled to the point of him having an affair. He admitted he was not attracted to me physically, it was terrible.<P>18 months later he says I'm beautiful. I see him totally different than I used to. We are close and intimate. We are satsifying each other's needs.<P>