<BR>I've made some major changes in myself, for the better too. I usually call my H on the weekends to see when he is going to see the boys. Sometimes this is for selfish reasons (I wanted to see him). We end up arguing almost everytime. I'm not gonna do this anymore. I refuse to beg him to see his children. If he's gotten so wrapped up in his no-responsibility lifestyle, more power to him. <BR>He dropped my money off at his mom's for me yesterday, that way he doesn't have to see me. That's fine. I love him but he's so angry still that I'd rather not be around him until he cools off. If I don't put myself in the situation to get hurt even more, then he can't hurt me. <BR>I'm concentrating on me and my kids now. I actually did something for myself the other day. Nothing big but it made me feel better. (I changed my hair color!) I have to be prepared to spend my life without him. This does not mean I'm going to plan B or giving up, but I can't be in this limbo forever. I will accept his calls and Plan A when I see him, but I'm not going to pressure him about anything. I still hold out hope that he will come home. But I think he needs some time to get over his anger at himself first. He can't continue to take it out on me and me be able to take care of my kids the way I need to. <BR>Does this make any sense or is it just senseless ramblings of an unhappy woman?

Mitzi,<P>Senseless ramblings....no! This is the post of a healthy person who is trying her best to make some lemonade out of the lemons tossed in her basket by life. Good for you!! Your attitude has changed for the better. Really, I do think that attitude has som much to do with our perspective on anything. The situation has no changed one bit, yet you feel better because you put this situation in it's proper perspective in your life. You can't make him come home. You can't make him spend quality (or any) time with the kids. you can't make him be nice to you or want to talk to you (except by being a nice person that anyone would want to talk to - planA!). You can only live for yourslef. Great about the new hair color! I'll bet it is helping to give you a renewed sense of confidence - 'cause that is what is coming across in this post!!!!<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

I'm glad I'm making sense. I'd hoped I didn't sound like a quitter. I've just changed my outlook on life. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts like he** and I still have bad days. Just not as often. Now that may change when I actually see him. I'll probably be a blubbering idiot in my next post! HAHAHA! But I refuse to let him feel like he's won. I'll let him think he's won and then move in for the kill!! LOL<BR>Thanks RMA. A little encouragement goes a long way!!

Mitzi,<P>Definitely a better attitude... <P>Way to go...<P>Even though I am a man, I too am a betrayed... and I can related to <B>all</B> you say. My W too has anger and a very hard heart!<P>Prayers to you...<P>Jim<BR>

Hi Mitzi,<P> Good for you!!!...have you been on the DivorceBusting forums? They have some good advice on making the best of the situation and not persuing. In fact, it seems in alot of cases the spouse came back when they were given time and space and the betrayed person got on with their lives (not in the strict sense of getting on etc. just making positive changes). Lu

Thanks Lu for recommending divorcebusters. There is alot of good advice there. <BR>My H is the type that if you want him to do something, he won't. But if you let him alone about it, he'll come around. Then, of course, things have never been like this before. Who knows??<BR>I'm really fighting the urge to call him. I haven't seen or talked to him since Sunday and it's really bothering me this evening. BUT I WON'T DO IT!! I'm trying to be strong. If I pressure him, it will push him even farther away.<BR>

Sounds great mitzi, I am here if you need me you know how to get me.<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com <P><BR>

Good for you Mitzi...great attitude!

Mitzi,<P>RMA is right. This is the sound of a healthy person.<P>Keep it up.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

I am doing alot better. I'm actually amazed at how much too. I'm just realizing and it's finally sinking in that I can't make him do anything right now. All I can do is help him up when he falls, which I will do. Gladly too.