My H brought the kids an encyclopedia, in spite of the fact that we already have one, not to mention a couple of CD-ROM encyclopedias. He had carefully removed the address label from the box, but had never opened it.<P>Inside the box was a packing slip. The ship to address was: The "Our last name" Family, OW's address. The purchaser was the OW. Also on the slip was: "A gift from OW". Is it just my imagination, or did the OW do this to annoy me? The "Our last name" Family does not live at the OW's address. Why would she have them put "A gift from the OW" unless she wanted them to know whom it was from? What possible good reason would there be for her to list the ship to name as different from the bill to address? <P>My H obviously didn't know the packing slip was in there, since he wouldn't have bothered to remove the address label on the outside if he hadn't cared if I knew who it came from. <P>I don't know if I should just give the boxes back to my H and tell him to keep them at her house, or if I should donate them to the next library book sale.

Better yet, Nellie. I'd send the donation to the library, then send a letter back to OW that you've donated this stuff to the library in her name. Make sure you send the letter to OW's address too. That would be *my* wish, however, you can probably think up something better. Just remember how sick both of them are. Try to resist the urge to do something as petty as they are doing. I know, it sucks being the "adult" in all of this. <P>It's pretty pathetic how quickly the OP want to be "accepted" by the children they stole the parent away from. How sick is that? Your kids are old enough and smart enough not to be "bought" by her. It is probably not a bad idea to tell your H to keep it where he is staying. I would find some kind of non-LBing way to tell your H you know their address now, though. One less thing he can use to mess with your head. <p>[This message has been edited by TheStudent (edited January 16, 2000).]

I agree with the libray donation. let her know you don't need her "gift". This is not playing games, just a "do not accept trash" at this house notice to her.

This OW is really sick in the head. I'm glad that your kids are old enough to NOT be bought by OW. I like the library donation idea. You don't need reminders of her around your house.

nellie,<P>I guess this woman has the nerve of the century! You guys aren't divorced yet and she is acting like the step-parent. I don't think she and your H realize how much they are doing to "damage" themselves in the eyes of the kids. Would have been better for them to have waited until the divorce to come on so strong. Oh well, they will reap the consequences here...<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Roll Me Away,<BR>My H introduced her to them only six weeks after he left, and a little more than a month after that let them know that he was staying overnight with her at least some of the time, and within about three months of leaving made no secret of the fact that he was living with her. She has been buying them gifts, taking them shopping, etc., almost since they met. <P>NoTrust,<BR>Most of my kids are old enough, but the four year old doesn't know what is going on, and I don't think the seven year old really understands. I hate the fact that the 10 year old had to learn about infidelity so early.<P>AGB,<BR>I wonder if she was trying to let me know that she was the gift giver, without my H knowing. Interestingly, she ordered the encyclopedia way back in September.<P>TheStudent,<BR>What you suggest is tempting. My H should know that I know the address, since he knows that I got her name from her phone number on anywho.com way back over a year ago - sometimes I think he likes to pretend that if he acts as if I don't know, then I won't know - sort of like little kids who think you can't see them if they cover their eyes.<P>I did find out that he is more aware of our oldest daughter's feelings than I thought. I knew he knew that she was angry, but since she will talk to him I didn't think he realized the depth of her anger. Today I asked him to pick her up at work, and he said he would if she were willing to ride with him.

Nellie1,<P>It is surprising how common this behavior is with the OP. It would seem that there is a need for the exchange of gifts initially then its as if the Op is actually trying to buy affection and acceptance.<P>The trash heap held many an item of supposed value after I found out who the purchaser was. My grown daughter was appalled at the nerve and herself "deep-sixed" alot of items bought as "gifts via the Ow through my h to her children".<P>Kind of makes you nauseated doesn't it!<P>If it wasn't for the fact I hold great value in books I would of had a huge bonfire myself with those encyclopedias!<P>Just an opinion! Fairs fair! <P>Blessings, Taj