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#52545 01/16/00 10:00 PM
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Mitzi Offline OP
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<BR>I had decided I wasn't going to call H and ask him to see the kids. I didn't do it either. He called today and said that he was going to wait until next weekend to see them. I had to bite my tongue but I said that that was fine. <BR>Now all he wants to talk to me about is the house and bills. I don't even want to think about that. How do I explain that without LBing? Do I just seem to go along with it to pacify him? He wants to get together this coming weekend to discuss some of this. That way we can try to get some things settled before talking to lawyers. I hate to bust his bubble but I can't do that. I've told him that I don't want the divorce and that if he wanted one he would have to do all the work. <BR>As long as the "thing" is in the picture, I can't seem to make any headway. When will this be over?? It's so aggravating!! <BR>But I'm still being strong for my kids. That's the hardest part. They know I'm upset and that I'm just hiding it. <BR>Too many questions.....

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Mitzi Offline OP
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Wow the weekend must have been really difficult for everyone!! Sorry to see all the new posts about sadness.<BR>I posted this last night and it kinda got lost in the shuffle. Thought I'd bring it back up to see if I could get any thoughts or advice.<BR>Thanks everyone!

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LMS Offline
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sorry mitzi,<BR>I am glad you stuck to it and didnt call, I'm just am having a bad week.<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com

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count it as a victory, the way you handled the conversation. when you tell him that he will need to do all the work in preparation, maybe you could restate your decision, remind him that you want to work on restoration, and that you love him. then stick to your guns. it sounds so neat and tidy, i was unable to do this most of the time. i will pray for you.

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NSR Offline
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Yes Mitzi,<P>Do everything possible to <B>slow</B> down the divorce... but... if it comes... and...<P>If you need to <B>protect</B> yourself legally (and/or financially)... I usually make the recommendation of finding a <B>good</B> attorney. A good place to start off is at the <A HREF="http://lawyers.martindale.com/marhub/form/by.html" TARGET=_blank>Martindale-Hubbell Lawyer Search</A> site. Do a search within your county... look for only "family law" specialists(>80% in divorce/custody/etc.)... make sure they do a lot of "family law committee work"... if they know the judges all the better... You can normally find a few that will give initial counseling free of charge.<P>Others have found this useful. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>As far as the kids are concerned... let him see them at his own pace... as long as it doesn't put a burden on you! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I hope better days for you! )<P>Jim

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Mitzi Offline OP
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I'm doing what I can to keep him from filing. Every weekend he says he's gonna file the following week but hasn't yet. I'm hoping there is confusion on his part and that's what is slowing him down. He hasn't even technically moved out yet. Only some clothes and things he needs for work. <BR>I don't think I need to do anything to protect me or the kids. However the person he is with worries me. She has been saying stuff about how things would be better for H if me and the kids were out of the picture. Hopefully it's just a bunch of BS. Who knows.<BR>

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Take it from experience.<P>DO NOT FILE.<P>Make him do it.<P>Yes, you er doing so much better than I did - with the no LB's.<P>stick with it.

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Stick to your Plan A Mitzi. Since he hasn't gotten all his stuff yet I take that as a good sign. My H didn't get all his stuff either. After he left, he had a friend ask me for some of his clothes. I packed every stitch of clothes he had in boxes and sent them with his friend. My H never did come get his tools or other stuff though. He was gone for 2 months. Has been home for 3 1/2 months now. Keep your faith Mitzi, it will be worth it.

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Mitzi Offline OP
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I don't know how I got thru the weekend. I think I walked to the phone about 50 times. Each time, I just told myself NO. I difinately will not file. For one thing I don't want the divorce and for another I don't have the funds. Wouldn't do it if I had a million dollars. <BR>I think my tongue is bleeding from all the biting I have to do. He tries to force an arguement all the time. Nope I' not falling for that anymore!!<BR>

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Mitzi Offline OP
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P.S. I will not spend my time packing his stuff!! If he wants it, let him spend the time packing it. Why should I put myself thru the pain of holding and packing everything that is his? It would just hurt too much.


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