I found a piece of paper in H's pocket with an AOL name written on it.Curious that I was I went and looked it up.On the profile all it said was Me,Female,and Engaged.My heart dropped.I knew in my heart it was the OW.I confronted H and asked him who this name was.He says he didn't know but that that name had IM"d him and he thought it was strange so he wrote it down.I do not beleieve this.First of all any of you that know AOL know about IM"s and profiles.The screenname my H uses has no profile.Therefore nobody can look it up and IM him.So I think this is a lie.I put this name on my buddy list because I was determined to find out if this was her or not.When I checked the profile again it has suddenly dissapeared.Funny,the name has been there and as soon as I confront H about it POOF it's gone.Anyone other than me find this strange?<P>If any of you have read my other posts then you know of all the other strange goings on very similar to this type of thing.The one thing that bothered me was in the profile it says she was engaged.The bad thing about this is I also found out H had spent $900 from his paychecks during the month of December and can't explain where it went.My God......did he buy her a ring for xmas?He gave me the excuse that his work screwed up on taking money out of his paycheck for his health insurance and he had to give it to them.Hmmm,never heard of paying your employer cash for your health insurance.<P>With all of the wierd things happening its almost like someone is screaming out to me they are still seeing each other.He continues to deny it and says he wants the marriage to work.It will never work until he starts being honest.I have told him if he has feeligns for her I will help him through it.He says even if we were not together he would want nothing to do with her.Why don't I believe that?<P>When is she going to stop popping up in our lives?I have just about had it.I have to know if he is seeing her and he will never admit to it.Im in so much pain right now and I dont know what to do.Please help before I just give up!! <BR><P>------------------<BR>~~~~~Tammy~~~~~<P>If you love something set it free.If it comes back it is yours.If it doesn't it was never meant to be.<BR>

Can anyone help please????I really need some advice tonight.Thanks to you all.<P>------------------<BR>~~~~~Tammy~~~~~<P>If you love something set it free.If it comes back it is yours.If it doesn't it was never meant to be.<BR>

I am sorry I have no advice....but I wanted to let you know I read...I guess my feeling after everything I have went through lately is trust your gut.<P>You are in my thoughts I hope everything is alright...<P>Stacy<P>------------------<BR>Jaded Heart<BR>____________<P> <A HREF="http://journeys.webprovider.com" TARGET=_blank>http://reflect.to/journeys</A> <P> <P>

I'm not a good advice giver, but I do have some things I'm wondering about.<P>Are you & H supplying each others emotional needs now? <P>Do you use POJA? <P>Are there times he's "unavailable"? <P>Is there a chance that your imagination might be working overtime here?<P>Please don't get upset with my questions. I'm just trying to let you know what I would ask myself if I was in your shoes. Just want to make you think about things that you might not think of right now.<P>If you find another paper, I would not confront him with it real quick. I'd add the name to my buddy list and watch it for awhile first. <P>Keo<P>

Jadedheart,<BR>Thanks for responding.My worst fear is to trust my instinct and it all be true.But I am afraid to make any rash decisions in fear I may regret them later.<P>------------------<BR>~~~~~Tammy~~~~~<P>If you love something set it free.If it comes back it is yours.If it doesn't it was never meant to be.<BR>

Trust your instincts and do research. Can you call personnel/payroll and ask about insurance without alerting your H?<P>Wait to confront. If I coud have done anything differently, I would have waited to confrontmy H until I was more sure of what I wanted to do, plus a little calmer.<P>I had a littel more evidence than you do not but it would have helped if it wasn't stuff he could deny. Since, I've discovered quite a bit of evidence. It might have made reality be more present when we talked. But the main thing was I wished I'd taken more time to think first.<P>Good luck.<P>Melissa<P>

I agree, do not confront him unless you have enough evidence to support that he's having an affair, otherwise he will be able to tell a convincing lie and hide any future evidence better, so that you will not be certain, but live with the unbearable uncertainty.<P>However, keep looking for evidence and signs that he might be having an affair (or planning on it), but keep your eyes open for the possibility that he might not.