My XW is a frequent and active member of this board. It was her advice that I investigate the possibility of utilizing Marriage Builders as a tool to understand my past behaviour and what she and I have just gone through that led to the final failure of our love. My question is; She has asked for no contact, which I will firmly adhere to, but does my posting to this site infringe on her right to use this place as the safe haven of information exchange feedback that she has said she recieves from here? I am interested in exploring what anonimity can provide in opening up myself to others that I may not be able to get from one on one or group counselling. I am a little confused about fair boundaries and hope for a little input.<P>------------------<BR>"Remeber that every now and then you need to stop and eat the roses."<BR>-Bill The Cat

Baby Bear,<P>If your xw told you about this site, then she must hope you will use it .<P>But if you are unsure you should really ask her how she feels about it.<P>MB is for anyone who has or is having trouble in thier marriage. There are wonderful loving people here who share a common bond,the pain of infidelity, whether on the part of the h (husband) or w (wife), there are also people here who have been the op (other person) in an affair.There are betrayers and betrayed alike here. Infidelity hurts everyone it touchs. <P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

to the top with this one.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Anonimity is a tough one...<P>There are very intelligent people who can put 2 and 2 together and figure out who your XW is.<P>Don't worry about this!!!<P>We still respect everyone who comes here...<BR>We respect opinions...<BR>We respect requests (if you ask no one bring in to question your XW... we will honor it)<P>I do feel we try and be open to all...<P>Welcome <B>Baby Bear</B>, to the Marriage Builders - Infidelity Forum.<P>Here are just a few hepful links...<P>If you're new to the ideas being presented here at MB start off with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3000_intro.html" TARGET=_blank>Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts</A>.<P>You'll see a barrage of "terms" which you might guess the meaning of... but an alternative is to look up what they mean at this site... Words like (click on them to find out):<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Bank</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_give.html" TARGET=_blank>Giver and Taker</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>The Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A>.<P>The real learning of relationship building is best aided by obtaining some of the books from the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6000_bookstore.html" TARGET=_blank>MB Bookstore</A>... of most important for those who have affairs in progress, or soon to be, is <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"</A> by Dr. Willard Harley. <B>This is the 'bible' for this forum.</B><BR>Other books can be very useful as well... like <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>"His Needs, Her Needs"</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6030_love.html" TARGET=_blank>"Love Busters"</A>, and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6010_give.html" TARGET=_blank>"Give & Take: The Secret to Marital Compatibility"</A>.<BR>There will be many other good books that the MB people will recommend... take their advice... they've been around. There is a post that lists many of these non-Harley book recommendations... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/010158.html" TARGET=_blank>Books... books... books... (again)</A>.<P>Just the books and facts aren't going to get you through it all... not without <B>support</B>. That's where <B>we</B> come in! <B>We</B> care... because <B>we</B> know how it feels.<P>We can give you help... to build back many vital aspects of your life and sanity. <P>Post... Post... Post... Reply... Reply... Reply... READ! READ! READ!<P>I've been speaking in behalf of some dear friends... as well as some complete strangers too..., when I've used <B>"we"</B>!<BR>But... if you're here... join in with them... they <B>will</B> join in with you. <B>We</B> do not always agree with each other on how to handle situations... but each of us is offering to you advice base on individual experiences. Search out those people on the forum that have experiences similar to yours... and ask... ask... ask! <P>We welcome everyone! <P>Jim