Last week my husband called and said if I didn't get an appointment with the mediator, he would be tempted to go ahead and finalize the divorce. He's still involved with the same woman after three years.<P>Last Wednesday he calls when I'm in bed with flu. He has never called in the two years we've been separated to ask about me, and he starts with "How Are Ya?" As I'm very ill, I jump on his case and say, "If you can't call in two years to ask how I am without wanting something, don't you find it hypocritical to ask when I know you are calling about something else? He says, "Yes, I guess so. Forget I called."<P>I immediately call my best friend and she called him to see what he wanted. He was going to ask if he could have an old lawn mower and an exercise bike. She explained to him that I thought he didn't care. And he kept saying over and over again that he did care. She also told him I accepted some responsibiity for the breakdown in the marriage, but he kept saying no and that it was all his fault.<P>I have talked civilly to him before when he called. Just why can't he call and see how I'm doing.<P>He seems to take action in where he can get a quick fix. Our daughter whose marriage is ending after three years decided she wanted a divorce. He has given her money to go ahead and file instead of trying to get her to wait and talk it out.<P>After being ill for nearly a week, the thought of this meeting is too much.<P>Would appreciate any thoughts on this.<BR>