… I don’t know how to keep it up, I am slipping in my hope and positive thinking. I feel like I am loosing my mind I have the doc up my meds once and I need to do it again, I don’t know what else he wants from me, I have tried to bite my tongue and try not to change his mind for him, he says he listens to every word I say and write and he takes them to heart, but if he did he would see, that I am serous when I say it would never happen again, he tells me “not unless you thought you could get away with it” I did get away with it…until I told him myself. It is not that I had to tell him I wanted to tell him I wanted to be honest with him about every thing, and I did. But I just don’t see his point of view. He said he wishes and wants us to start over again. Then why doesn’t he let us? I don’t know if it is a man thing but crap, why don’t he just say what he wants and then just take it? He tells me he wants me to let him know how the kids are doing. So I do it and he yells at me and tells me I am telling him how sick or how much we all need him, just to hurt him and then hangs up the phone, then he wont pick up, so I tried to call him at work to explain that I was taking him up on his offer (“if you ever need to just talk to someone call me I am here”) and he hangs up on me again.<BR>I know even though it has been six years he still has a lot of anger and hurt. But how long am I to be punished. He says that not what he is doing but it sure feels hat way.<BR>One more thing. I know a lot of people have been hurt by someone who has done what I did. I can only imagine what being betrayed by someone you love dose, but any advise from both sides I would be grateful for.<BR>Lesa<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com

really dont konw what to say but you are in my thoughts and prayers<P>amanda<P>------------------<BR>I will love my husband "Always & Forever" <BR>thevancefamily@hotmail.com<P><BR>

{{{{{{{{{{<B>Lesa</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>I don't think I know everything about your circumstances and so I have a question or two.<P>When your H has been in Missouri and you in Alaska... how were you keeping in contact with him?....<P>How about contact between him and the kids?...<P>Is H still giving you financial support while living so far away?<P>Any thoughts of you moving back to where your H lives?...<P>I know you had an affair a long time ago... Is he, maybe now, doing the same(having an affair)?....<P>I'd like to help with more concrete advice... but don't some of the details.<P>Prayers... <P>Jim

Jim, ok when he comes to Missouri to visit, he stays here with me and the kids(yes we even sleep together), we are in every since married when he is here, and when he is not here we talk on the phone at least three times a week, he says I can come to Alaska to visit but he don’t want me to move back up there. Yes he is still giving us financial support. I have ask him a number of times if he is having an affair and he says no, he has even told his father that he is not. I believe him (most of the time).<BR>If you need any more just ask I am so rattled anymore I can’t even think straight so if I left anything out just let me know.<BR>Lesa<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com

back to the top for jim<P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com

Hey Lesa,<BR>Just wanted to send you this <BR>((((((Lesa)))))). Believe me I know how the down days are.<BR>I can't offer much in the way of advice, I'm in a little bit of a mess myself. I just wanted to let ya know that I'm still thinking about ya. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Or better yet have the perfect words to get your H to understand. If it were only that easy I would do it for everyone here.<BR>Take care of yourself and the little ones.<BR>Mitzi

I don't know what to say, he sounds confused. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Hang in there Lesa,<BR>All I know is if I want my wife back I can't committ any <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>.<P>It's sooo hard but it's my only option right now.<P>Keep talking to us.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

I don't have a lot of advice to offer you but I will keep you in my prayers.<P>Strength to Lesa lord!!!<P><P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<P><BR>

Lesa,<P>I understand where your at...<BR>Doing a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A> with limited access to you spouse is very frustrating. I too am doing it... and know the difficulty.<P>How do you think your meeting his <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>?<P>Have you pulled down and filled out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4110_emndsq.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs Questionnaire</A> from his perspective...<P>If you are at a loss for how to meet those <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>... the best advice I can give is to go to a more direct source...I would recommend that you have 2 <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7200_phone.html" TARGET=_blank>telephone counseling sessions</A> ($85US a pop... but well worth it) with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7010_about.html" TARGET=_blank>Steven W. Harley</A>. Check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counseling Center</A>... and for some specifics... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7015_fee.html" TARGET=_blank>Fees for Counseling Services</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7020_sched.html" TARGET=_blank>Scheduling an Appointment</A>!<P>Steve is very good at decerning a situation... and then giving you "practical" actions to follow. He will ask for you to fill out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4110_emndsq.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs Questionnaire</A>... and fax it to him... do it ahead of time!<P>I know "we" (at the forum) have been at a loss for words... I think Steve won't be.<P>Prayers to you my friend... <P>Jim

Thanks to you all I dont have time to write a long post now I have a ton of things to do today but I just wanted to thank all of you.<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com