As the ordeal disappears over the horizon in my rearview mirror, it is time for me to concentraite on the new world rising ahead. I need to leave the past in its' place to live in the now. 9 months into recovery and almost a year since discovery. Life has been getting better. It will never be what it once was but it is better than I thought it could be in the shadow of those dark days. <BR>THe collective wisdom that meets here has been a great help in the recovery phase. <BR>THank you Dr. Harley and tempest, this forum has probaly saved more marriages than we will ever know.<BR>Wassi, my drinkin buddy, Not sure what is going on right now but I hope you're doing well. <BR>I will miss the banter of the forum and the great diolog I had with so many of you.<BR>I wish everyone health and happiness in their marriage.<BR>I'll lurk when I can but I will probably be unavailable from here on......

Fighter.... Your a helluva' guy.... Thank you for your help and support and insight. You will be missed..............<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

And it was just getting hot .....<P>Congrads on the healing, fighter! Have a great marriage!<P>

Fighter - Will really miss you, your strength, objectivity, frankness and caring. It has also been encouraging to see your posts go from angry/bitter at W, to focusing on yourself/kids and moving on, to tentative acceptance/openess to your W. This is the process I see ahead for myself as I move through this divorce and post-divorce phase and while I doubt it will end in my H asking to return, I do know that we will need to have some sort of healty co-parent relationship for our kids. You have handled this journey with strength and aplomb and I have always appreciated your insights and example.<P>Best wishes as you continue on life's journey,<BR>Starpony

Hey wait? Who will you bequest the job of keeping us "gender friendly?" <P>I understand the rear view mirror horizon fading scene. No problem, Good luck! Thanks for your help.

Rutger, thanks. And thank you for responding to L&S. It is difficult to read those anymore. Too familiar. Brings back too many bad feelings.<P>Maya, if there is one last round of banter, I'm up for it.<P>Starpony, I'm sorry that it did not work out for you. If there was anyone I would emulate in the post divorce, it would be you. For all of the jerking around and false hopes, you have remained centered. I think that ultimately, you will have a great relationship next time around. Take care of yourself and your kids.<P>TNT, you can do that job, no gender bias either.

Banter, fighter? <P>WELL JUST PICK A THREAD AND LET THE BANTERING BEGIN!!!<P>LOL!!

Maya, Its got to be a Otherman or a Marcil. I go into too many of these and become saddened by the pain that I find. Part of the problem is that there is this kind of turmoil in this world and it just makes me lose my faith in people.

fighter,<P>somehow i get the feeling that i'm going to miss out on somebody special by you leaving. first impressions are important to me...so if you get the urge to hang around for us unhappy types....maybe that would be for the best...

what???<P>My chain has been yanked by an imposter. I hate it when that happens.<P>

What do you mean Maya?

Maya,Its' me. I was joking. What I meant was to get into a full fight like we did with those two.<P>THanks L&S. You're where I was almost a year ago. Thats why I need to move on. When I read these posts its like I'm still stuck in last september. The feelings come back all over again. Since you took the time to post, this would be my (standard)advice:There is nothing you can do to change what has happenend. She needs to understand why she did this in order for you two to move on. You will have to be patient with her and yourself. Also, if you could move that would help. There is a whole bandwidth of feelings that you are going to deal with and it cannot be done alone or in a short time. It is going to take time. She needs to end it with the OM and make it clear to him that it was wrong what they did. You both also need to be in front of a counsellor. Take care and let us know how its' going.

I am happy for you and your marriage. I wish you continued happiness. Fighter, you have been very helpful to me. Selfishly, I wish you would stay. When I saw your post, the first thing I wanted to do was post a reply that simply said, "please don't go!" But you have to do what you have to do. I am so glad you are departing under pleasant circumstances. I've learned and grown because of you. Thanks and best wishes for a wonderful life and marriage.<BR>Sincerely,<BR>fc<BR>

Fighter - <P>This is a sad day indeed.<P>Your wit and humor will be sorely missed. <BR>Your right between the eyes advice has always hit home for me.<BR>You have been an inspiration and a good friend.<P>I pray that many more of us will get through the healing process quickly so that we too can move on and put this dark chapter in our life behind us for good.<P>I wish you and your family well.<P>Adieu,<P>SHA

FC, most of what i've learned, I picked up here. I hope you and your H really get it together. Selfishly, I want a new baby. But life rarely gives us everything we want and have to deal with what we have. I wish you the best for your family.<P>SHA, I think that the last part of healing is being able to put it behind you by leaving this board. Things are so different now that the reminders of what once was is hindering the enjoyment of what is now. I thank you for the help and patience and that you will also be able to walk away for the same reasons.

Fighter -<P>I feel the same as what SHA said!!!!<P>What am I to do without your input on that cop of mine and to tell me to back off when I get to crazed worrying about him? <P>At least pipe up when I finally get to psting my letter, OK????<P>A Big Hug and Thank You!!!!<P>Sheba

Fighter,<P>I will miss you... I am so happy that you are leaving here because you have had success! <P>Stop by from time to time and let us know how you are doing..... we all love success stories, they give us hope.<P>Thank you for being our friend.<P>Butterfly<P><P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Fighter,<P>Godspeed. It's great to hear that things are looking up for you, and I completely understand about the need to move on. I wish you all the best and happiness as you charter your new horizons.<P>------------------<BR>Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.

Dearest Fighter,<P>YOU GO GUY!!!!! <P> <A HREF="http://www1.bluemountain.com/cards/box6798c/ypr2ppkggeknfh.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www1.bluemountain.com/cards/box6798c/ypr2ppkggeknfh.htm</A> <P>We all wish you all the wonderful things your "new" life has to offer. Congratulations!!<P>Hugs & Kisses,<BR>TCF<P>------------------<BR>If you have a special occasion, or see someone here who could use a card... please e-mail me at card_fairie@hotmail.com. <BR>Hugs & Kisses,<BR>TCF

Sheba, I don't know how he continues to treat you like that and how you keep it together. Some of you are dealling with continuous torment and it is disturbs me on how powerless I or anyone is to do anything about it. Most of what I was able to accomplish Came from the realization that I am powerless. I really hope he comes to his senses.<P>B-fly, I don't know if I can really declare success. There is still alot that needs to be done. I guess its how you declare success. If its' moving in a postive direction and looks like it will continue to do so, that would be success. I was stuck in wanting it back the way it was before all this happenend but I knew that was impossible. Instead I had to look at her as a new person that I had to get used to. So now, I must deal with this "familiar stranger".<P>Thank you New Woman.