Thanks to those of you who recommended Frank Pittman's Private Lies to me.<P>I have not been in a very good mood as my husband pushed me into setting up an appointment with a divorce mediator. Here I am 57 years old and should be looking forward to my retirement. Who can retire now on one income? My daughter's marriage is breaking up and husband just gives her money so she can file for divorce. My 82 year-old-mother is in a nursing home suffering from dementia, and I'm the only person to take care of her responsibilities.<P>On top of that, I've been in bed with flu for the past 5 days with hardly any energy to take care of myself. Has husband called to see how I was? No only asks if he has something else to call about.<P>This afternoon, I lay down and took Private Lies to bed with me concentrating on Chapter 12, Infidelity and Divorce. At the end of the chapter, I read the story about Harry and Edna and Ruthie. I could not keep myself from laughing out loud because of the ludicrous situtations that were described. I then began to see my situation (although very sad) a bit differently because of Harry's philandering. <P>I can now understand to what Pat Conroy was referring in reviewing Private Lies and saying that Mr. Pittman was never without wit and humor. <P>Reading this chapter somehow made my day and helped me see some humor in an otherwise tragic situation.

Martha,<BR> I'm glad you found that book.I've read it over a few times.It really does help to find humor in things right now.I loved the story on page 45 about the cheating wife who tries to make her husband have an affair.She even brought women home for him,trying to force him to have sex with them.She eventually divorced him,claiming mental cruelty,because he acted morally superior by refusing to commit adultery!Quite a story.I hope you get to feeling better.Keep reading and gain the knowledge that your H will never have.Take care. --Murph

Murphy, I really appreciate your support more than you know. You were the first person to respond to my first post. So I already am beginning to feel a closeness in this terrible thing we go through.<P>If we should find some humorous notes of this sort. Let's share them. We got to find humor in what we can. And how do we swap email addresses.<P>Thankd!

Martha,<BR> These posts get lost fast,don't they?I don't come on this forum as much as I used to.How's that book coming?Maybe you should lend it to your daughter when you're done,if it could be of any help to her.Another good book is"After the Affair"by Janis Spring.You can order it from Amazon.com.It helps to show both sides of the affair.Also talks about the different kinds of love.I'm a little slow on my e-mail sometimes,but I'm at:murphy46@MAIL.COM Keep up the reading,and take care of yourself. --Murph