First of all, I updated my profile, so please read it first. <BR>Here we go. I am having an affair with a friend of my husbands. There, I said it. That is the first time I've admitted that one to anyone. <BR>H drives a truck, so does OM. OM was a mutual friend. Stopped by his house one night on the way to go see my H. Things went from friendly, to touchy feeley to down right uncomfortable. OM asked me what kind of friends were were. I wasn't expecting to have an affair with him. Never in a million years. He's not even "my type". Nothing happened that night. I left...quickly. The next day I got curious and went by to see exactly what went on the night before and why. I figured I could be adult about it and talk to him about why he would betray my Husbands friendship. Well, one thing led to another and we've both betrayed him. This has been going on for about 6 months. We meet in strange places, sometimes in the middle of the night. I would never have gone anywhere by myself at night before now. I feel horrible, but everytime the OM calls, I take off again. At times we talk on a daily basis. Others, we don't see eachother for weeks. I will not tell my H. I need some advice from some of you who have been in my shoes as to how to get away from the OM. Don't want him to turn on me and tell the H. I would deserve it if he did, but still want my marriage more than anything. Sounds like I don't, but I really do.<BR>

I'm glad you want your marriage. You know, the only way to be sure he won't use this against you and the only REAL way to build a great marriage w/ your H is to unload the gun. Tell him yourself.<P>Lots of people here have done it. It ain't easy. But, IMHO, it's almost always necessary, unless you fear physical violence, and still, you may need to tell in the presence of a therapist. You will never rest in peace as long as this other man can hold the "secret" over your head. But you sorta kinda already knew that, didn't you?<P>We're here for you. With lots of ears, love support advice and tools to handle this. But it's time. Before it's too late.<P>Good luck.<BR>Lori