Today is 1/18/2000. I have been eengaged for only 19 days and we are having our biggest issue. While surfing the net, I pulled down a menu on my fiance's computer and saw something interesting; a Personals Page. I went to it and found out that only 9 daays after he proposed he posted a personals add on the net.<BR>I could only hold my anger for 1 day ( my parents are planning a semi-large wedding and are paying for it) and I confronted him about it. I asked was he sure about us getting married and his responce was "yes, why?" I showed him a printout of his add and asked for an explination. His answer was he got the jitters.<BR>My thing is this: 1- He waited for my for 3 years so we could be together, I was dating someone else when we met, and he knew I was the one so he waited.<BR>2- We have great lines of communication, why did he not come to me?<BR>3- As of right now I'm not sure if I can trust him - this is the first bit of doubt that I have had. <P>I am stumped, we have an appointment with the clergy at my church this week and this will definately be a topic of discussion.<P>We are not all that young ( I am 32 and he is 40) and I am (was) so sure about him and now I don't know what to do

I realize it is easy for me to say DO NOT MARRY HIM, but that is what I believe. This struck a chord with me because my H found the OW by posting an internet personal ad (after 19 years of marriage and six children), and is living with her, and has devastated his entire family. <P>"Got the jitters" is NOT an excuse. It might be an excuse for postponing a wedding, but it is not an excuse for cheating.

I won't go as far as Nellie...<P>But... I would recommend... postpone the date!<P>If you have a good line of communications... first make sure he has a good understanding of both his needs as well as your needs...<P>Study the book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>"His Needs, Her Needs"</A> by Dr. Willard Harley...<BR>Study it with him!!!<P>ONly commit to a marriage if both he and you can be completely honest about commiting to meeting each other's needs...<P>At his age in particular... maturity needs to be there.<P>Prayers for a good decision. <P>Jim