My wife and I recently went through a deep depression in our marriage after 10 years. Your article on "why women leave men" covers most of our issues. When it began I was told she had no more feelings for me which began a time of great anger for her, to the point of ending our marriage over it. I acknowledge my contribution to the problem and am working on it dutifully, I don't want to lose what I have. My question is regarding the intensity of her emotions. It seemed that they were as strong as an affair would have caused. Is this typical of a woman feeling neglected?
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Scott, it is my understanding that men value themselves sexually and when a woman rejects him in that respect, eg. an affair, it destroys him. Well with a woman, her self worth is in her value as a person who is cared for, respected and valued. When she is neglected, she is being told in action that you are not important, of no worth. I can tell you from experience that if a wife, girlfriend is not shown that she is number one or important she will start building walls of resentment. Our desire is to be nurtured and protected from our mates, to know that they support us and will stand up for us. Her anger is from a deep hurt from the neglect. Your comparison of the feelings being as intense if there had been an affair is maybe your comprehension of how hurt she really is. An affair would destroy you as much as neglect has destroyed her.

Scott, it is my understanding that men value themselves sexually and when a woman rejects him in that respect, eg. an affair, it destroys him. Well with a woman, her self worth is in her value as a person who is cared for, respected and valued. When she is neglected, she is being told in action that you are not important, of no worth. I can tell you from experience that if a wife, girlfriend is not shown that she is number one or important she will start building walls of resentment. Our desire is to be nurtured and protected from our mates, to know that they support us and will stand up for us. Her anger is from a deep hurt from the neglect. Your comparison of the feelings being as intense if there had been an affair is maybe your comprehension of how hurt she really is. An affair would destroy you as much as neglect has destroyed her.