I have a 19-yr old daughter from my 1st marriage that is in college and has asked me for $ help. I put $ in a 401k fund during my 1st marriage for this purpose. This daughter & my current wife do not get along at all (my daughter has threatened to kill us both). My daughter refuses to see me in the presence of my wife. Therefore, I do not have joint agreement from my wife to give my daughter $. Of course I am viewed by my daughter and ex as being selfish. My wife and I had an affair that lead to a divorce from my 1st wife and this is the source of my daughter's anger. There are alot of details that I cannot cover in 1000 characters. Help!

My divorce and marriage circumstances were much like yours, only my husband and I also have a daughter, which has been his children's very large problem. His son also is in school, he is 19 and lives with us. But I guess, my advice to you is do what your heart tells you to do. I fully understand your wife's position, cause I am basically in it. But, I also understand yours. While your daughter is still your daughter, she should not be able to threaten you and your wife and then expect to have all forgiven. Above all, I would tell you to discuss with your wife all the aspects of the "help". If you help your daughter now and the situation continues, you have not actually helped, but given her fuel for more fire later. My husband's kids had their Mother's attorney write us a letter stating that several of my husband's assets were to be turned over to his son for his college "expenses". Needless to say, my husband contacted the attorney and there were no further actions. This is so petty of children to try to cause trouble in their parents new lives. Their Mother is also remarried and is very happy. They don't see anything wrong with this, but because their Dad and I got together while they were married, we are terrible. Don't give up. There are others out there just like you and your wife. God Bless and I'll pray for you both.