My husband has 3 Grandchildren, 2 boys, 10 and 2 and a girl 12. We have a daughter 11.The Grandchildren are jealous of our daughter and have to do and have and see and hear everything she does. They are dumped at our house EVERY weekend because their Mother is so sick of them by then that she needs a break. I am expected to work 6 days a week and then take care of these children all weekend, plus do all the laundry, clean up after them, cook meals, and watch my daughter get pushed aside while the grandchildren get all of Grandpas attention. Plus I must keep my mouth shut. We were just told by my husband that the grandchildren could come and stay as long as they want and our daughter and myself better like it or we could move out. I think I am going to explode. This is not right and fair and I don't know how to show my husband that it isn't. He won't listen to me. He says I don't care about his grandchildren, I do, but EVERY weekend is TOO much!Help, Please.

I konw how you feel and you can read my post in Others and the title is: My husband and HIS annoying kids - I think I said enough.
<br>I had this problem at home and I overcome it, now I have a new problems as you could read in my post.
<br>My suggestion is that you do have to put limits about what you can do and what you just can't help. In the weekends the kids are in my home, they have to follow MY RULES no matter if they like or not. I also request a full time nanny and maid to take care of everytning and all the mess and food...once I work really hard all week and I want peace in the weekends in my home. I suggested my husband to travel with his kids during the weekends to spend more time together in order to live me alone to rest in my own home. I know he can't stand them and this weekends trips is being a hell! My husband is weak, it's very hard for him to put limits so but at the same time I can't say one word, good or bad, about his "angels" he will be upset. I believe we will not have too much time together. I am tired to "wear pants" ...and it's not my business if his litle girl has problesm because the motther drinks...they didn't think about it when they had them. So, all kids business, money, phone calls, communications are made through his office, during work hours. My problem now is that I figure out that this problem can change and it will be there while we are together.
<p>Good luck...I understand you perfectly!

Lisa
<p>Again I find myself wondering why you are so bitter. And it is my opinion that you do not understand Debbie perfectly at all. You failed to mention to her (although I think she can figure out on her own by your posts) that you cannot stand children, any children.
<br>I doubt that even if these children were perfect angels that you would like them any more than you do now. What would happen, I wonder, if you suddenly found yourself pregnant?
<p>Debbie:
<br>I feel for you. I can kind of understand where you are comming from, although my situation is a little different. When my H and I moved in together, I had a real problem with his kids. He would lay on the couch while I cooked, cleaned, and did laundry (many times all of his childrens clothes too, as their mother didnt do laundry). I was bitter...very bitter, but I kept these feelings to myself for a long time with the fear that if I voiced my problems to my H, he would leave me. Finally one day I blew, he allowed these kids to talk to me like I was trash, and I was not going to stand for it one more minute. I left the house for about 3 hours, and when I had calmed down, I went home and talked to him...told him everything that was bothering me about his kids. We set limits, and he agreed that my taking 100% care of them was not right. Slowly he started being of more assistance in their care, and started letting them know that while they were in our home, they would not be permitted to be disrespectful to us. Talk about this with your H, and let him know that if this continues, that you and your daughter WILL leave whenever his grandchildren are there...maybe taking care of these children by himself will change his mind. Good luck to you!!
<p>Lisa:
<br>Maybe this would be an idea for you too, on the weekend that the kids are with you, forget the maid and the cook, and go to a hotel and pamper yourself for the weekend, allow your husband to take full resposibility for their care, and maybe he will see things in a different light. I really dont mean to sound so harsh to you, but I just cant imagine having such a total dislike for children. They are truely gifts from God, and the way they are now is not their fault, they have not been raised to respect other people. Like I said in a previous post to you...YOU could be the person who changes these kids lives. Maybe get counseling for yourself, and learn to better deal with these kids...all children NEED and WANT positive role models...you could be one, if you gave it a chance.
<br>Good luck to you!