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Emotional silence
#53238 08/12/98 09:05 AM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6
Cambridge, MA USA
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Brandon Offline OP
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Brandon
Junior Member
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6
Cambridge, MA USA
I am a 37 year old gay man who has just celebrated the one-year anniversary with a man that I am very much in love with. However, over the last 7 months I have been having some tough times. My partner is a very generous and loving person but lacks a lot of emotional scope and expression. I am quite the opposite in that I am able to meantally and verabally articulate my needs to him. The problem is that when he does something which upsets or hurts me, he listens to what I am saying and then does it again and again! I've talked, I've cried, I've yealled and... nothing! I can't get any explanation, excuse or an apology to any of it. I am frustrated, confused and downright angry. I can't help but feel that things will never get better. HELP!!
Re: Emotional silence
#53239 08/12/98 09:35 AM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 305
salt lake city, utah
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Steph Offline
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Steph
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 305
salt lake city, utah
Brandon,
<p>He may not be mentally or emotionally able to really hear what it is you are saying. I go through the same thing with my husband. He acts like he is listening but then just goes about doing this as he always has. When I bring up past conversations that we have had about the same subject he never remembers them. My counselor has told me that there is nothing I can do to change this behavior in him. There is no one right way to say things so they will hear, really hear what we are saying. Your only hope would be for him to get some counseling to see why he blocks out the needs you have shared with him. That will not be easy but if he cares he may be willing to get some help. Good Luck doing this. I've yet to convince my husband but I have hope. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
<br>Steph

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